


It's real. You're real, and you deserve to have a real, full happy life.

by Consuela_Banana



Category: Sanvers - Fandom, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A bit angsty at first but don't worry, Alex Danvers is a badass, Don't mess this one up CW, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How many leather jackets do they own, LGBTQ Female Character, Lesbian Character, Romance, Sanvers - Freeform, supergirl - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 19:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8728036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Consuela_Banana/pseuds/Consuela_Banana
Summary: Alex tells Maggie they’re not friends after all, and all she’s feeling is pain because Maggie doesn’t want her.But that couldn’t be further from the truth for Maggie.This story begins after Alex confronts Maggie in the parking lot, and Maggie didn’t visit Alex at Kara’s apartment later that night, therefore everything after that (inc EP 2.08) doesn’t take place.The slightly slower burn than the Supergirl writers gave us, but don’t get me wrong – I loved how EP 2.08 turned out for Sanvers!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this will tide us over until the new year and we see what Sanvers get up to.

The words were still stinging Maggie Sawyers’ ears as Alex turned on her heel and stalked away from her in the parking lot. Maggie’s reddened face telegraphed what was becoming obvious; she’d been called out by Alex and it had hurt, because she knew in her heart that Alex was right. As she looked down at her feet to compose herself, she didn’t see Agent Danvers in the distance, flicking her hand across her face, hurriedly wiping away a tear from her cheek.

Later that night, Alex sat silently on the couch in her apartment, with only the intermittent crack and pop from the log fire burning next to her punctuating the silence. She'd replayed what had happened with Maggie over and over in her mind, analysing every word, every look, every moment of their interactions in the last few days. She felt so stupid.

Alex leant forward and placed her glass tumbler on the table in front of her, reaching across to the whiskey bottle conveniently placed within an arm's length. She unscrewed the bottle, poured herself another finger of liquor and placed the bottle back down, tossing the plastic cap into the middle of the table. Alex didn't always drink whiskey, in fact she was really a beer girl, but she knew her senses would be dulled much quicker with the stronger liquid.

She sat back into her grey couch and brought the tumbler up to her mouth, the warmth of the whiskey felt soothing against her lips. Alex closed her eyes and took a mouthful, screwing her eyelids shut as the heat of the booze hit the back of her throat. As the taste subsided, her mind wandered back to the other night at the bar. Maggie was wearing her favourite biker jacket and setting the pool table up for another game. Her hair was glossy and her eyes sparkled despite the dim lighting above them. Alex shook her head gently and dipped her gaze into her lap as the words rang in her ears.

"It's real. You're real, and you deserve to have a real, full happy life."

Maggie's attempt to be helpful echoed around Alex Danvers' head as it had done for the past couple of days, though each time it never made her feel better or worse, they just accompanied the deep sense of ache inside her. Alex had cried herself out already, and now it seemed all she could do was ride out the indescribable pain she was feeling, though it was impossible to see when this would end. Alex had remarked to herself that she'd never felt something like this before now. She'd felt something vaguely similar for others in the past, but they seemed to be a much-diluted version of what she was experiencing now; like she'd been punched in the stomach with Maggie's rejection and it had spread to her entire being.

"...maybe, maybe there's some truth in what you said."

"About...?"

"What you _said_. About _me._ "

Alex winced as she recollected the confession, as she planted a strong hand on a cushion next to her and tossed it across the living room.

"Stupid!" She spat, so cross with herself for allowing her feelings to be exposed like that. Alex Danvers wasn't someone who allowed her emotions or feelings to be acknowledged, and there they were, laid bare for Maggie when she'd promised herself she wouldn't say anything, desperately trying to convince herself this was just a phase.

But it wasn't a phase.

Her mind wandered again, Maggie's voice drifting in once more.

"I'm here for you....but, as a friend."

She sank the remainder of the whiskey and outstretched her arm to gently place the tumbler onto the edge of the table, her hand remaining tightly clasped to the glass. Alex held her position for a few seconds, before her head dropped with a fresh wave of emotion. Embarrassment; awkwardness; shame; sadness. The thick strands of her tousled bob dangled around her face as her neck was bent, momentarily hiding the DEO agent's anguished expression.

 _I should have just kept my mouth shut_ , she thought to herself, bitterly.

 

Maggie had tried - unsuccessfully - to reach out to Alex since they parted in the parking lot earlier that day. Despite her day job, she wasn't usually in the habit of chasing down people - on the telephone at least. Alex had watched her cellphone vibrate across the kitchen counter several times, the telltale sign of the screen flashing with its customary buzzing sound trying to let her know that someone was contacting her. But whether or not it was Maggie, or Kara, or J'onn, Alex didn't want to talk to _anyone_ that evening. She'd laid her hurt out bare to Maggie in the parking lot, letting her know exactly how she was feeling, in no uncertain terms, about how Maggie's preference to be 'just friends' had proved to be the single most painful thing Alex had experienced in her twenty nine years on earth. She'd tried to keep her feelings of rejection inside and not let Detective Sawyer know just how deep she'd been hurt, but as soon as Maggie had mentioned them being 'friends' again, it all came tumbling out. And once it was out, there was no stopping it.

Alex poured another finger of whiskey into her glass and screwed the cap back on the bottle. She got up from the couch and took the bottle back into the kitchen, sliding it across the counter next to a spice rack which was aching to be used. She paused for a moment, to gather her thoughts, before turning around and picking up her cellphone from the counter. Alex lent back against the dark granite counter top as she unlocked her screen.

Four missed calls. Two texts.

Alex raised an eyebrow, but she knew full well who they were from.

The missed calls were from Sawyer. And a text. But there was also a text from Kara. Alex's index finger hovered over both unread messages in her inbox, before selecting Maggie's first to read.

_Alex, I've tried calling a few times. I need to speak to you after what happened. Please give me a chance. M_

Alex cleared her throat and inhaled deeply. She knew Maggie would want to give her side of things after the dressing-down Alex had given her earlier. The detective was nothing if not tenacious, and Alex wouldn't have expected anything less than her NCPD counterpart to give as good as she got. But the ball was in Alex's court, and at this moment, Alex didn't want to play.

She went back into her inbox and opened Kara's text message.

_Hey. You didn't seem yourself this afternoon. Is it to do with M? Do you want me to come round?_

Alex drummed out a reply to her adoptive sister to let her know she was OK. After several rounds of whiskey Alex's fingers felt clumsy, and she accidentally misspelled several words before getting them right with autocorrect. The eldest Danvers sister, tipsy or not, wasn't going to allow her spelling to let her down, despite everything else.

Once an acknowledgement had been received by Kara, Alex switched her cellphone off. This was a first for Agent Danvers; technically it was a work line, one where she could and should expect a call from the DEO at any moment, alerting her to any new alien activity or case breakthroughs. But on this night, for once, Alex Danvers needed to distance herself from the world, and even though she was intrinsically attached to her job, hell, she _was_ the job, the DEO would have to wait.

As the fire began burning down to charcoaled embers, Alex headed to bed. She'd changed into her pyjamas, and slipped under the covers of her bed, curling into a ball for warmth in the chilly room. As the influence of the whiskey cursed through her veins, she felt herself drift toward sleep, and the faintest of recollected voices dipped in and out of her consciousness as her eyes began to close.

"You clean up nice"

"she's smart, she's tough, she's just....beautiful"

"Danvers! I was hoping you'd show up"

"I've been wanting to do that..."

"Come on Alex, we're friends, you can tell - "

"...and all I feel is pain, because _you_ don't want me."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the angst! Let me know what you think about this one....


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie are thrown back together for an emergency downtown, and the awkwardness from the other day hasn't dissipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys don't mind a bit more of a slow burn and angst, it makes for better dramatic effect I think :)

Across town, Detective Maggie Sawyer, NCPD, absent-mindedly traced a finger around the lip of her coffee cup, the contents having turned cold well before now. It had been two days since she’d been called to a parking lot crime scene, and had unexpectedly bumped into DEO Agent Alex Danvers. At the time, Maggie had thought everything was cool between them – particularly since Agent Danvers had confirmed they _were_ cool, and were _friends_ – so she was shocked when she’d been confronted with the news from Danvers that they, in fact, were _not_ friends.

From a young age, Margaret Sawyer had learned to put up with a lot. She’d left the small-minded townsfolk of deepest darkest Nebraska to pursue her passion for law enforcement, and her zig-zag transcendence into the special division of National City’s Police Department had allowed her to finally feel at peace in the world. Maggie had known her sexual preference was different from nearly everyone in her home town (“they just don’t understand your type,” her father had told her), so she built a formidable strength of character to deal with whatever crap was thrown at her on any given day.

But on this day, she wasn’t feeling quite herself. She’d been up all night thinking about that fractious conversation with Alex. She stared into space as she replayed the conversation in her mind, trying to put herself in Alex’s shoes, to empathise; understand why Alex felt so full of pain.

“I was sure of one thing. And that was my feelings for you.”

Maggie looked down into the stone cold black coffee and bit her lip regretfully. Yes, she had called Alex out because she suspected (correctly) the DEO agent had a crush on her. But she didn’t stop to think what that meant for Alex, and her own personal journey. By the patrol car that time, it was only a throwaway comment when she wondered if she’d got it wrong that Alex was into girls.

Maggie didn’t owe anyone anything. She was independent, and didn’t need to rely on another being to justify her existence, human or alien. But she did have feelings, and on this occasion, it had begun to dawn on her that by opening the door to Alex coming out and acknowledging her own feelings, Maggie wasn’t oblivious to what she was doing. The minute she and Alex met, there had been a spark; a palpable chemistry between them. But that’s all it was at the time, as Maggie was in a relationship she’d hoped was going somewhere.

The detective lent back in her uncomfortable desk chair and puffed her cheeks in exasperation. She’d tried to offer an explanation to Alex that day in the parking lot; why she’d asked her to stay friends, why she didn’t want to jump straight into something with her, getting something started, after Alex had only just come out. She didn’t know if the woman in front of her at the bar, pulling her closely for her first same sex kiss, was fully committed to what was happening; it was all new and exciting. God knows Maggie was only too aware of how scary and confusing it was to be on the cusp of admitting to yourself you were attracted to the same sex – never mind admitting it to anyone else. It wasn’t as if she didn’t find Alex attractive; fuck, how could anyone not, but this just wasn’t the right _time_ , and Maggie wasn’t sure she was the right person for Alex at this stage.

As Maggie pondered everything that had taken place in the last week, her trail of thought was interrupted as a call came across from dispatch. A large fire had broken out across town thanks to suspected alien interference, and an office building had gone up in flames over two floors. Maggie jumped to her feet, grabbed her standard-issue pistol from her desk and tucked it into its holster. In a swift movement, she pulled on her NCPD jacket and headed for the door, as several colleagues followed behind.

 

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

“Chief, what do we have?”

The National City Fire Department chief looked Maggie up and down, her figure decidedly diminutive next to his bulkier frame. He tipped his fire hat upwards so he could look at her better.

“Well, little lady, I’d say we’ve got at least two floors gone up, and my boys are working on making sure everyone’s been evacuated.”

Maggie rolled her eyes at the ‘little lady’ comment and pressed on.

“How did it get started?”

The chief shrugged his shoulders honestly.

“Beats me, I’d say a focused amount of heat on some particularly flammable stock up there has sent the place up, but I couldn’t say for sure who – or what – started it,” he wiped his brow, “but I reckon this lady knows.”

The chief turned his stance and opened his body, pointing across the street to some unmarked cars blocking the road. His hand guided Maggie’s line of sight over to a small group of people. DEO agents. One in particular stood out.

Alex Danvers.

“Yep she seems to know what she’s talkin’ about,” the chief continued, understandably oblivious to the drama that was had unfolded between the two women, “so I’d say she’s your woman.”

Maggie smiled at the chief by way of thanks, though there was no warmth to it. She looked across at the small group of agents standing next to the car, which blocked the path of oncoming traffic. A large area around the block had been sealed off to protect the public from wandering onto the scene, and two fire trucks from Ladder 34 were in front of the office building. As Maggie craned her neck to see who else was in attendance, her gaze was met by the dark brown eyes of Agent Danvers, quite coincidentally looking across to the chief at that same moment. She caught Maggie’s eye and turned back around quickly.

Maggie strode over to the group of agents, her police walkie talkie crackling with radio static as she went. As she approached them, the two others Alex was talking to broke away from the group purposefully, one talking into a cellphone and giving orders to the other, and Alex was left by herself.

“Hey,” Maggie said from behind, touching Alex’s arm lightly by the elbow.

Alex turned around to face the detective, their eyes not immediately connecting, as Alex seemed to visibly summon the courage to hold eye contact. Alex could be physically imposing as she was 5'9 ish, but it was she who struggled to meet Maggie's gaze.

“Detective Sawyer.”

Maggie dropped a shoulder and raised her eyebrows in surprise, momentarily shocked by her friend's formality.

“Alex, please – “

“What’re you doing here?” Alex interrupted.

Maggie decided to play the game. “Well, _Danvers_ , don’t forget I am a cop, and a call came over the radio that there may have been an alien influence here.”

Alex nodded, trying to remain very official as she folded her arms across her chest. Her black leather jacket squeaked as she did so. She pressed her lips together as she considered her response.

“Well, I’m glad NCPD’s finest came down here, but we’ve got this under control. The NCFD are up there and are reporting back – “

“Where’s Supergirl?” Maggie interjected.

Alex unfolded her arms slowly. “Supergirl should be here any minute.”

“What, she had something better to do?” Maggie smiled, slightly irritated that the girl from Krypton wasn’t on the scene from the beginning.

Before Alex could respond, there was a resounding _whooosssshh_ from above, and before anyone could comprehend what was going on, a flash of red, blue and yellow flew into the burning, smoking office building, nearly faster than the naked eye could behold. _Supergirl_.

“Right on time.” Maggie smiled knowingly, looking back to the office building where the flames immediately began to die down with Supergirl’s clear intervention. She turned back to face Alex.

“Look,” Maggie breathed, “you haven’t returned my calls or my texts. _Again_. You said we’d be friends, and then you said we weren’t friends, but you didn’t give – “

An explosion rocked through the office building across the street, and flames licked out of all the windows on one floor, shattering the glass and sending it raining down into the street. The blast shook the block and there was an audible gasp as the onlookers realised there were still people inside.

The crews of Ladder 34 outside on the street rushed inside the building as dark, acrid smoke billowed out of more windows, and papers flew out into the cool afternoon air. There were several fire fighters still inside. Maggie turned worriedly to Alex.

“Supergirl…..? She’ll get them, won’t she?”

Alex’s eyes were focused on the burning building, desperately scanning for evidence that her sister had the situation under control. She was aware Maggie was talking to her, but she couldn’t be distracted from the carnage across the street from her. As she went to respond, suddenly the black smoke that was pluming from the fire was sucked sharply back in through the windows, and Supergirl flew out onto the street with two fire fighters tucked under her arm. As she landed, she tilted her head skywards and blew a fierce jet of smoke up into the stratosphere, clearly having inhaled all of it from inside the building. Onlookers packed up against the police cordon all around the block let out rapturous applause and cheers for their Kryptonian superhero, as she made sure the two fire fighters she’d rescued were OK.

“Supergirl!” Alex yelled across at her, at ease with the pretence of them not being in any way connected personally.

Kara smiled back across at her sister. “There was one more in there, but they seemed to have everything under control.”

Alex and Maggie diverted their gaze back across to the building, by now a hot, charred mess. They could just make out the figure of the last fire fighter from Ladder 34 stumbling out of the entrance, smoke rising from their blackened suit, their oxygen mask stuck firmly in place.

The NCFD chief motioned to Alex to come over, and she obliged, striding purposefully across the way.

“I’m glad Supergirl arrived when she did,” he said, his voice peppered with relief, “and that all my crew got out safely. You’ll need to talk to this one…” he pointed at the fire fighter who’d battled out of the front door.

“Did he see evidence of alien interference?” Alex questioned.

“Well _she_ may have, but you’ll have to ask _her_ yourself.”

Alex turned to look at the fire fighter, who was sat on the edge of the kerb, as colleagues walked up and swotted their fire hat by way of affection.

“She…..?” Her voice trailed. As she continued to look, the fire fighter pulled the blackened fire hat off tiredly, to reveal exactly what the fire chief had indicated: the face of a woman. The woman shook her head to free a blonde ponytail, darkened with soot in places, and her brow soaked in sweat. Alex couldn’t be sure but she looked like she had blue eyes.

Alex continued to stare as the chief slapped her on the shoulder.

“Just let me know what I can put in my report, eh? Agent….?”

Maggie watched Alex from across the street, as she in turn watched the woman with a blonde ponytail unfurl herself from all her breathing apparatus and fire-fighting paraphernalia, unaware there were intrigued eyes resting on her.

Alex was motionless as she observed the woman smiling, receiving admiring slaps on the back from her colleagues as she rested on the sidewalk.

“Danvers?” Maggie whispered to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex continues to deal with the pain of rejection, but there may be a glimmer of hope on the horizon.

The door handle jerked open and Agent Danvers breezed into the meeting room, closing the partially-glazed door behind her. In her hand was a glass of water, and in the other an electronic tablet. She set both down on the cold metal table in front of her, where opposite sat the fire fighter from the office blaze a few hours earlier.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting, Miss...?"

"It's alright, you can call me Anna," the woman replied, pulling the glass of water towards her, "Anna Preston."

Alex withdrew the chair from the opposite side of the table and sat down. She cleared her throat, an automatic tic she had when preparing to interview people in a formal capacity, but this time she seemed to be using it to buy herself some time.

The woman opposite - Anna - had fought her way out of the office blaze earlier in the day, no mean feat given the raging inferno that raced through several floors in the building, coupled with an explosion. Her firefighter colleagues were impressed with her resilience as she tumbled out of the front door to the building, rather than needing to be rescued by Supergirl. They were impressed, but not surprised. Anna was a determined character, and an excellent firefighter.

Alex had discreetly studied Anna's features earlier in the day, when she requested time with her to go through any details she may have on alien influence at the fire, and she had continued to observe her now they were opposite one another in the small meeting room. Anna had understood the need for the DEO to obtain any information that may assist them with their work, and it wasn't the first time one of Ladder 34 had provided some background on one of their fire scenes. She'd tucked Agent Danvers' card into her coveralls and said she'd be at the DEO at 5.00pm to run through the crime scene with her. Fairly standard stuff.

Alex had earlier watched as Anna, as she knew now, dusted herself off after surviving the testing scenario earlier, her colleagues congratulating her on her bravery and commitment with high-fives and punches on the arm. She'd smiled in acknowledgment, but that was as far as she went. She didn't need adulation; she was just doing her job. She was oblivious to DEO Agent Danvers attempting to not watch her from afar, as she shook out her blonde ponytail, a light dusting of soot drifting into the air as she did. Now Alex was sitting across a table to her, she took in Anna's pretty features; her clear complexion, free from the charred, smokey layer which had descended on her face a little earlier, a little tanned understandably.

Alex shifted in her chair to make herself comfortable. " _Anna_ , then." She looked up with a courteous smile, and then back down at her tablet.

Anna sat with her hands clasped between her knees on the other side of the table. The agent began to run through some formalities, the usual introductory information which needed to be said, nothing which she hadn't heard before. The firefighter agreed to everything asked and began to give her statement, recalling anything and everything which may be of use to the DEO. In truth, Alex probably let her talk more than she needed to. Agent Danvers was a direct interviewer; she only needed the salient details from her subjects using the clear questions and techniques she successfully applied; but on this occasion, she let Anna talk as she wanted. Alex noted down bits and pieces of information on her tablet, and reached a point where she believed she had enough detail to assist with their investigation. But she didn't stop Anna from talking, despite putting her tablet on standby and resting it on her knee. Uncharacteristically, she'd allowed herself to drift slightly, and although she was aware the woman across from her was speaking, she wasn't listening to the words.

After a minute or so, Anna reached a natural pause in her account.

"Agent Danvers?"

"Yes?" Alex snapped into focus.

"You, uh, you haven't been making notes for the last few minutes. Is there anything else you wanted to ask?"

Alex felt her cheeks redden slightly, unexpectedly. She flicked her tablet back on and quickly scrolled through her notes very formally, trying to look quizzical, which looked somewhat superficial, Anna noted to herself. The blonde tilted her head to try and catch Alex's eye.

"Agent Danvers?"

Alex placed her tablet onto the table, and smiled politely at Anna to let her know she'd heard her the first time.

"No, I think that'll be all for now, Ms Preston."

"Anna."

There was a beat before Alex responded, her mind clouded for a second. She suddenly seemed to struggle for a coherent sentence.

"Uh, yes, Anna. Thank you, for your.... your....."

Anna stood up from the chair and extended her hand across the table for a handshake. "You're welcome," she interrupted.

Alex also stood and sidestepped around the table to accept the handshake, observing the pretty firefighter's grip was as firm as her own. Anna smiled at her as the handshake remained for a second too long.  _She smells nice,_  Alex thought.

The door to the meeting room behind them opened, and Winn stepped in, interrupting the handshake, leaning into the room whilst hanging onto the handle.

"Agent Danvers, I'm sorry to interrupt you, you're needed downstairs. J'onn asked me to come and get you."

"Thank you, we're done here anyway. I'll be there right away." She replied.

Winn smiled at the blonde woman hanging onto Danvers' hand, and she smiled politely back, before he disappeared from the doorway.

Their hands fell back by their sides, and Anna headed towards the door where one of the DEO staff was waiting outside to escort her from the building. She stopped before exiting, turning around to ask one further question. Alex almost thought she saw the firefighter was biting her lip before speaking.

"So, Agent Danvers, if I think of anything else.....?"

Alex frowned with confusion as Anna's voice trailed; her intention had been for the DEO agent to finish the sentence, but the room fell silent for a second. Anna rolled her eyes and smiled warmly, picking up the sentence where she left off in a more deliberate tone.

"...if I think of anything else, should I get in touch?"

Alex picked up the tablet from the table before responding.

"I don't think I need - "

Anna took a step towards her, in an attempt to emphasise the subtle message she was giving, which clearly hadn't been received.

"I mean, should I call you...?"

The DEO agent stood silent for a moment, her eyes darting between Anna's blue-grey irises, searching for an appropriate response. _Call me if she thinks of anything else?  Why would she say that? Wait..._ _Is she hitting on me? It sounds like she is - but I've been wrong about this before...badly wrong. Jesus Danvers, say something, she's just standing there waiting for you to say something!_

"Um...." Was all Alex could blurt in reply.

Anna turned and began through the doorway, pausing for a moment to speak once more.

"Well, Agent Danvers, if I think of anything else, I have your card you gave to me earlier. Take care, now."

And with that, Anna disappeared from view, as she was led down the corridor and out of the building, back into the National City populous and out of Alex Danvers' life.

 

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

A hand waved in front of Alex's daydreaming face.

"Hello? Alex?"

Kara attempted to rouse her sister from the apparent trance she was in. Alex's head twitched as she became aware Kara was trying to get her attention.

"Hmm?"

Kara tutted and slumped back down on the couch cushions next to Alex, picking up the half-empty ice cream tub she'd left on the armrest of the couch. She attacked the remaining ice cream with the spoon she'd left inside. It was sisters' night at Kara's apartment, and both had settled on the couch.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Kara enquired, not looking up from her ice cream.

Alex shook her head and rubbed her hand across the temple on the left side of her face. She wanted to form some words to explain the questions and feelings raging inside her, but somehow she couldn't articulate what was going on in her head. She was still in pain. Sometimes it was physical pain, in the form of a deep ache that still hadn't gone away, as she was still coming to terms with the unexpected rejection from Maggie, but mainly it was the mental anguish, the over-analysing, the non-stop worrying and self-loathing for her perceived stupidity. Kara knew the situation was still causing Alex a sustained amount of upset, and it hurt Kara deeply to see her sister so distressed.

"Maggie?" Kara said, softly.

Alex looked her sister in the eye, nodding slowly with a sideways smile and raised eyebrows, feebly trying to hide her sad demeanour.

Kara looked back at Alex in sympathy; she felt real pangs of sadness for her sister, but these could only reach as far as sympathy as opposed to empathy, as Kara hadn't ever experienced this type of heartache before. Obviously she knew only too well what sadness and grief felt like, those feelings ran deep through her Kryptonian veins, but the type of anguish Alex was experiencing, such strong feelings for another person which weren't reciprocated, someone who she'd continue to see and not be able to hold, Kara hadn't experienced  _that_ type of heartache. But it didn't stop her from wishing she could use all of her unearthly powers to remove all those hurt, negative feelings from her sister.

"Yeah Maggie," Alex composed herself, "and - I don't know - just generally feeling..."

"Crap?"

"Crap." Alex concurred, knowing Kara took delight in using the mild earth curse word.

Kara smiled back at her sister to let her know she was trying to understand. Alex stuck her ice cream tub onto the coffee table in front of them, and sat back into the couch, raising a knee under the dark navy blanket they'd both snuggled under.

"I just thought I'd feel different y'know,  _better_ , having admitted to myself.....admitted that this was me. But here we are, and things don't seem to be any better," she exhaled, "no better at all." Alex turned to look at Kara, her searching eyes needing answers.

"It's going to be like this Alex," Kara replied, trying to give some comfort, "but it's not going to feel like this forever. You won't always feel like this."

Alex smiled and looked to the heavens. "It sure feels like it will."

This time Kara shook her head. "I know Alex, but really, I'm telling you, it will pass. But it is definitely crap. And y'know, I think this, how much you feel for someone else, just goes to show what an amazing, loving, wonderful, kind-hearted human being you are."

The compliment bounced off Alex as she rolled her eyes. "Really? Are you really saying this?"

"Hey!" Kara howled, pretending to be affronted, as she punched Alex a little too hard on the arm, "can't I say something nice about my sister?"

The elder Danvers rubbed her arm gingerly and took a moment to digest Kara's statement. Perhaps she had been unkind. "You're right, I'm sorry. Thank you."

Kara shovelled a large, heaped spoonful of mint choc chip into her mouth and beamed back at her sister in acknowledgment. Alex laughed as the mint green dessert was smeared around Kara's lips. Both laughed together at the mess Kara was in and for a moment, everything felt like normality. They smiled in unison and fell thoughtful for a minute.

"So you and Maggie are.....?" Kara took her opportunity to begin questioning once more, as she smacked her lips together to remove the remainder of the ice cream.

"Just friends," Alex confirmed. "And..... and I guess I have to be okay with that." Alex replied, her voice not quite convincing. She didn't want to be just friends, she wanted more than that. Much more. But if the options were to either be friends with Maggie or lose her completely, she'd have to accept it. Kara nodded in agreement, and paused for a moment before responding.

"If you and Maggie are just going to be friends," Kara started, as Alex raised an intrigued eyebrow in anticipation, "and, you know, your dating preferences are now aligned accurately..."

"Kara - " 

"....then will you be, I don't know, looking to date other people? Like  _new_ people?"

Alex had tried to interrupt her sister so she wouldn't have to hear the words she knew were inevitable: date new people. The very thought sent icy chills through Alex and she involuntarily shivered at the prospect. Kara looked her up and down in bemusement, still licking the ice cream from her lips. Alex mulled the question over for a moment as her sister was preoccupied.

"I uh, I honestly hadn't thought about it."

"Do you have a type?" Kara asked, interested. It felt like they were almost regressing back to sleepovers as a teenager; truth or dare, questioning each other on who they thought was hot, who they liked.

"I'm not sure," Alex replied earnestly, "I really haven't given it much thought."

Though the elder Danvers sister genuinely hadn't given it much thought before now, Kara's question resonated with her, and she fell silent for a minute as she allowed her mind to wander with the now very real prospect of what type of woman she'd find attractive. In her moments of solace, Alex had realised that all the women she'd admired from afar growing up, even up to this point, were not figures of admiration, but more likely knowing now, attraction. She'd avoided considering that fact ever since she could remember, and had pushed those feelings down so far that she'd convinced herself it wasn't attraction but admiration. But now, Alex had realised that her new normal meant she allowed herself to look at another woman, and she may feel physically drawn to her, and rather than leaving it to randomness, she may as well consider what she looked for in a partner. As these notions dawned on her, a timid smile crept across her face.

"Until now...." Kara smiled in return.

Alex smiled back at her sister, and pulled the blanket from across her knees as she went to get up from the couch. She headed to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of beer. Alex closed the heavy refrigerator door slowly, as a thought drifted into her mind through the emotional haze and distracted her from what she was doing. Alex turned back around to face Kara and leant against the tall, cold appliance, refraining from popping the metal cap off her beer before she had spoke.

"You know, today at the DEO, I - " She laughed nervously at the recollection, "I interviewed a woman who...."

Kara watched on as Alex's voice trailed.

"...who I could have sworn was," she paused and looked back at Kara, "was coming on to me."

The younger Danvers was motionless but intrigued, sitting still on the couch, waiting for further information to be relayed. She motioned with one hand to indicate she wanted Alex to keep going.

"She, um, she was giving me signals. I think. I can't say for sure."

Kara cleared her throat purposefully. "Signals. Tell me about the signals."

Alex grabbed a bottle opener and popped the cap on her beer, letting the cap fall onto the kitchen floor. She bounced off the refrigerator and headed toward the door, whereupon she turned and paced back to the kitchen, trying to accurately capture what she'd perceived.

"I can't describe it, I mean, I uh... I don't think I'm doing too good with reading signals lately anyway," she smiled knowingly at Kara, referring to Maggie. "But it was something about - it was the way she said something to me. Like she wanted to call me. Or for me to call her."

Kara bounced up onto her knees on the couch. "And  _are_ you going to call her?" She said excitedly.

Alex scoffed and rolled her eyes, shaking her head in the negative and taking a slug of beer.

"Well I wouldn't blame her," Kara scraped the barrel of her ice cream tub with her spoon; "you're hot." she said, matter of factly.

Her sister scrunched her nose and tilted her head, before conceding and agreeing with Kara's sentiment, in a self-deprecating kind of way. Alex was happy to laugh at herself when it was just the two of them. Alex sank another shot of the beer and stood at the kitchen table, thinking back to earlier that day.

Anna.

She was blonde.  _Do I like blondes?_ She was pretty, in the conventional sense. She'd clearly showered at work and come straight to the DEO as Alex requested, for the formal statement.  _I don't even think she was wearing that much make up_.  _I wish I looked that good without mascara._ She was slightly shorter than Alex, but trim and athletic, par for the course for fire fighting, and her arms looked slim but muscular under her thin henley-style top. And Anna smelt good, too.  _I liked that scent_ , Alex remarked to herself.

Alex hadn't noticed Kara giddily beaming back at her elder sister, as she watched the concept that a woman might be into her dawn on Alex's face. She didn't notice Kara hoping and wishing that this may just be the first, ever such tiniest step to self-recovery, even just a flicker, however long it took; as long as her elder sister had a chance to stop experiencing so much pain. And Alex also didn't notice her cellphone buzzing, having slipped down the side of the couch cushions, temporarily forgotten, vibrating on the quiet setting with the screen flashing to try and let Alex know who was calling, for the second time that night.

Maggie.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddamn you Sanvers, giving me all the feels. It may get worse before it gets better for Sanvers, folks.
> 
> Let me know what you're thinking about this relative slow burn, comments and feedback are appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those feelings will probably never go away, the ones that are so strong. They can't be denied. But perhaps there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel for Agent Danvers. Even if it is a different light....

The words echoed in Alex's head as she laid in bed, her eyes fixed to the ceiling.

_You deserve to have a real, full, happy life._

She sighed and turned onto her side into the bed, dragging the covers up around her shoulders roughly. She wished she could just close her eyes and turn back the clock, having never uttered a word of admission to Maggie Sawyer, and maybe that would have enabled her to concentrate whole-heartedly on the stable aspects of her life, like her job. But in her heart, Alex knew that even if she hadn't said anything to Maggie, or Kara even, the truth would have come out. It always did. Alex would have been consumed by it, the urge to live her life more truthfully, to be open with herself, and it would have been overwhelming. Her dark eyes remained open and she daydreamed, as if closing her eyes and letting her subconscious mind turn loose was far more dangerous. Alex had already dreamed about Maggie more than once; her dreams weren't ostentatious or R-rated, they were fuzzy and clouded, and she'd struggled to remember them clearly despite wishing so badly that she could. Recently, Alex had woken one Sunday with pangs of sadness when she realised she'd woken from a dream and it wasn't reality, because she'd felt it was so faithful, so real. But it wasn't real, and it was all in her subconscious where she didn't have any control. She'd picked up her cellphone to text Maggie - anything, just something to see her respond, but after tapping out some breezy, not-really-anything text, she deleted it all and switched her cell off.

Alex exhaled and tried to let her tiredness overcome her, willing her brain to shut off from its analysis and allow her to fall to sleep. As the minutes ticked past, the DEO agent began to drift, the words rang out again.

_A real, full, happy life._

 

....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

It had been a trying few days; the DEO had been busy with several cases that had presented themselves, the fight against rogue aliens and keeping the peace between them and humans seemed to be a never-ending battle. Supergirl had been working overtime for both races, seemingly flying all over National City and beyond in order to save, help or sometimes fight certain individuals when the time came. Kara had enjoyed being busy, the life of a superhero was certainly more fulfilling than being yelled at by her boss, but she also yearned to impress him with her latest stories, something she seemed to be lacking in slightly, much to her dismay. She'd also watched her sister carefully over the last few days, looking out for signs that she was feeling better, and to Kara's pleasure, she thought she could see Alex turning a corner. Alex had spent several days in a relatively dark place for her, being consumed by her emotions, which was something Kara had rarely seen before now as Alex was usually so good at keeping everything locked up. But as those days had passed, Alex seemed to be coming to terms with the fact her desire for Detective Sawyer had been rebuffed, and although she clearly still had feelings for her, she was learning - as she always did - to overcome them and move on.

As the day turned into evening, the DEO task force centre began to empty, leaving skeleton staff to run things through the night. It was a Friday, and, human or alien, everyone felt the need to get out of work and blow off some steam in time for the weekend.

Alex had planned to head home that evening; maybe she would swing by the San Xi Palace to grab some takeout too, as she remembered there were cold beers awaiting her in the refrigerator back at her place. She did some end of the day customary checks, logged out of her systems, zipped up her leather jacket and turned to head towards the elevator.

"You going already?" Winn enquired from across the room.

"Looks that way" Alex replied, not stopping to look back at him.

"Well," Winn said in a louder voice, "some of the guys are gonna grab a drink now, did you wanna come?"

Alex pressed the button to summon the elevator and turned to respond to Winn from across the floor.

"Thanks Winn, but I'm going to head home. You guys enjoy yourselves."

Winn swung round on his chair and stood up, poking a pencil behind his ear. He took a couple of steps toward Alex, who was waiting patiently for the elevator to arrive, as the lit button suggested.

"Um, Alex?"

She turned to face him, her eyebrows raised expectantly. Winn continued.

"You, uh, you haven't seemed yourself the last week or so," he raised his hands in a surrender-type motion, "and I'm not trying to probe you as to why, I just thought.... I just thought you could do with spending some time with friends."

Alex stared into Winn's eyes. Winn could be a douche sometimes - a loveable douche - and clearly her attempts to keep her countenance at work hadn't succeeded. She mulled over the question; a night in, alone, _again_ , or get out and blow off some steam with the guys. Alex was tough cookie, independent as they come, but even she knew when to take some help from a friend. She smiled back at Winn.

"Okay, I'm in."

Winn returned the smile. "Great!" he said, "Are you gonna come with us?"

Alex shook her head as the elevator doors opened behind her. "I've brought the bike," she replied, stepping inside the brightly lit elevator car, "so I'll meet you guys there."

Alex watched Winn gave a dorky thumbs-up as the doors closed in front of her, and she allowed herself an amused grin at his attempt to raise her spirits. It seemed to have worked, anyhow.

 

 

Alex carried her motorcycle helmet under her arm as she walked into the bar; she hadn't gone home and changed, she was still in her dark denims and customary leather jacket. She approached the bar and ordered a beer, before heading over to the round table Winn and James were sat at. She plonked the glass bottle on the sticky wooden surface and half-scowled at Winn.

" _This_ is everyone?"

"Um, at the moment, I think....? James?" He stuttered.

James gulped his beer down to respond to Alex. "Yeah, some of the other guys said they were coming, they might do, I don't know. I think Kara said she would too...?"

Alex took a swig of her beer and watched Winn as she did so, letting him know she was slightly peeved. She had nothing against hanging out with Winn and James, and obviously Kara, but she thought there'd be a big crowd of DEO here too, where she'd thought maybe she could get lost in the crowd and her mind would be taken off the here and now. Winn smiled nervously back at her.

It was a half hour or so until Kara joined them, rushing into the bar all windswept. She gave the three of them a look to say she'd been caught up on Supergirl business, and sent Winn to the bar to get her a drink. Alex mouthed if everything was OK, and Kara nodded. She didn't feel like sharing at that moment in time, and her sister would have to find out later what she'd got up to, no doubt putting herself in danger with her life on the line again. Alex couldn't know exactly everything Kara was up to at any given moment, but it still scared her to think her little sister was putting herself in harm's way willingly on a continual basis, and there was nothing she could do to control it.

Once everyone was several drinks in, James suggested they hit the pool table. Alex nervously looked over to see if the pool table was currently occupied, or if anyone was in the vicinity, of course thinking of Maggie, but she was relieved to be spared any awkwardness when she saw it was free. The group headed over to start a game.

 

The cue flew through the 8 ball with a resounding crack sound, almost like a whip, and the black ball sank into the far corner pocket. Alex stood up and placed the cue on the baise and a hand on her hip, allowing herself a smug expression as Winn stuck a ten dollar note in her free hand. Alex smiled broadly and tucked it into the back pocket of her jeans.

"So that's, what, four zero to me?"

Winn picked his jacket up off a nearby bar stool and slung it around his shoulders. "I think that's it for me guys, I'm gonna head off. Thanks for the, uh, game."

Winn slapped James on the shoulder and gave Kara a wink before heading toward the exit. Alex looked at the remaining two to see who wanted to take her on at the next game. Neither offered.

"Hey, what's the matter, don't you want a rematch?" Alex said, several beers having enhanced her confidence.

Kara looked at James then back at her sister.

"Alex you know I'm no good at pool, but James will play!"

James took a step back and shook his head at Kara, placing his beer on the table behind them. "Uh uh," he said in the negative, "I've already lost too much money to this hustler. I'm out."

Kara frowned and exchanged glances between him and her sister. "C'mon James! Alright you don't have to play Alex, you can play me!"

"Yeah come on James, don't go yet?" Alex piped up.

But James had already decided he'd lost enough money for the evening, and had already downed enough beers to make him feel warm and fuzzy. Earlier he'd begun to daydream about a ham and pineapple pizza, and despite his body being a temple, his hunger had overcome him and the time was right to leave. He rolled the sleeves of his shirt back down and began to button the cuffs.

"Sorry ladies, you'll just have to do without me."

Kara and Alex said their goodbyes to James, and left the pool table to head over to a table in the corner, ordering two more beers along the way. They attempted to get comfortable on the wooden bar stools and watched as another merry band of people took up residence at the pool table. Alex's eyes darted around to see if there were any NCPD in the house tonight, obviously interested specifically in one, but she couldn't make anyone out. She definitely could see Maggie wasn't here.

Kara took a slug of beer and watched Alex look around the room.

"Looking for her?"

"Who?"

Kara raised her eyebrows slightly, unsure why her sister wouldn't realise Kara knew what she was doing. "Maggie. You're looking for her."

Alex shrugged. "Force of habit I guess."

Kara placed a comforting hand on her sister's shoulder and Alex raised a smile, though her eyes said otherwise.

"You seem..... a bit better though, huh?" Kara asked.

The elder Danvers thought back to the last few days, and described to her sister the range of emotions she'd been experiencing. It was probably true; Alex had been feeling slightly better in the last couple of days, and she'd felt a sense of relief that she was seeing a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. The weight of all she was feeling had been lifted somewhat, and although she hadn't had the outcome she wanted, the burden of not quite understanding why she felt deeply unfulfilled had been partially taken away. Kara listened intently over the noisy hubbub of the bar, as their fellow drinkers got louder as the night wore on.

They talked for a short while about how they were feeling, until they moved on to talking shop; aliens, Cadmus, the usual. They'd sunk another couple of beers before Kara started to yawn.

"Okay Kara, time to get you home." Alex suggested, protectively.

Kara nodded and looked quizzically at her sister. "How are you getting home?"

Alex looked thoughtful for a moment then screwed up her eyes.

"Oh _shit_ , I brought the bike. I'm clearly not in a position to ride home after all these" She motioned to the empty bottles on the table in front of them.

Kara ducked her head and whispered. "Do you want me to, y'know?"

Alex ducked her head, mirroring her sister, and looked confused. "You know, what?"

Kara looked from side to side and hissed back. "Fly you home?"

The elder Danvers sat upright in her chair and shook her head, pressing her lips together steadfastly, waving a finger. Alex didn't need her sister to fly her home, she'd just grab a cab. She wondered if Kara would be alright getting home herself, but she didn't appear to be tipsy, so she was satisfied to let her sister fend for herself.

Kara stood up from the bar stool and tapped Alex on the forearm as she turned to leave.

"Be good, you."

Alex gave a mock two-finger salute and watched as her sister headed out through the exit, her dark blonde hair bouncing on her shoulder as she went. Alex smiled as a couple of young men sat at the bar watched Kara admiringly as she passed by them, through the doorway and out.

Alex pressed her hands down her thighs as she sat on the stool, smoothing out her jeans, before sinking the last of her beer. She cleared her throat and decided she'd head home too, rather than sit in the bar all alone. _If you're going to sit here drinking by yourself, you may as well do it in your pyjamas in front of a fire at home_ , she'd thought to herself.

Feeling the warmth of several beers under her belt, Alex's mind started to plan her route home without her motorcycle, and rather than ferry the bike helmet home with her, she decided to strap it to the bike out back and pick it up in the morning. She picked up her helmet and strode toward the emergency exit.

"Agent Danvers?" A voice called out from the bar.

Alex was just about to push the exit door open when she turned round to see who was sat at the bar, calling her name.

"Agent Danvers, I thought that was you."

It was Anna Preston.

Alex stopped in her tracks and turned to face Anna, who had got up from her seat at the bar, still clutching a bottle of beer. Anna's hair was up in an easy ponytail with a quiff, and she looked a little dressier than the other day; a smart top, slim jeans and heeled boots.

Alex's mouth fell open to respond, but she wasn't sure what she first wanted to say, and as before, she stumbled to form words.

"I think I have that effect on you," Anna laughed warmly, taking a step towards Alex, "are you okay?"

"Yes!" Alex said quickly, holding on to her motorcycle helmet as if her life depended on it.

Anna nodded, her eyes darting back and forth between Alex's. "That's good. I thought that was you over there, playing pool?"

They both looked back at the pool table which had been the scene of Alex taking money off her colleagues for fun, earlier in the evening. They both looked round at one another again.

"Yeah, I uh, I'm not bad." Alex said nonchalantly.

"Not bad!" Anna laughed, "I think you gave your friends one hell of a beating!"

Alex smiled in acknowledgement. "Okay, maybe I did. They could be better, though."

The blonde opposite her bobbed her head slowly in the affirmative at the natural pause in conversation. She took a slow drink of her beer, and Alex watched as drips of condensation zig-zagged down the shaft of the green bottle. They were quiet for a moment, and the silence was deafening. Alex held tightly onto her motorcycle helmet under her arm, not knowing if she should speak or wait for Anna to. For some reason she felt nervous, which was unlike her, and she'd only really felt these strange nervy pangs when she'd been in the company of - 

"So uh, I was going to call you." Anna looked at the floor as she spoke.

"Me?" Alex replied, surprised.

Anna's eyes darted back up to Alex's face. Alex continued to look a little confused. _Why would she want to.....?_

"Look," Anna said, now her voice taking on a slightly nervous tone, "I don't know if I've got this wrong, and if I have then by all means, set me straight."

Alex felt like she knew what Anna was saying, but her confidence had taken such a beating that she just didn't want to assume anything anymore. She placed the motorcycle helmet on the bar top.

"Straight about what?"

The blonde firefighter rolled her eyes and flashed a bright smile. She took another small step toward Alex, so that she was now in her personal space. Alex noted the same scent envelope her as it had done before in the interview room, an intoxicating perfume which smelt so good. She exhaled deeply as she waited for Anna to respond. Anna looked into Alex's dark eyes.

"I like you. I think you're..." Anna paused, unsure if she'd made a mistake, but in the silence, she continued. "I thought maybe you and I could....."

Alex wasn't sure if she was hearing right. _What was it she was being asked?_

"You and I could, w-what?"

Anna turned around and leant across the bar to get the barman's attention. She said something Alex couldn't quite make out and the barman fished around under the bar until he put something in Anna's hand. She gave him a wink in thanks.

Anna pushed the sleeve of Alex's black leather jacket up on her left arm, holding on to her hand as she did it. Alex's throat was dry and she gulped as the blonde popped the cap off a marker pen, and proceeded to write something across Alex's forearm, near her wrist. The sensation of the pungent marker being scribbled across her arm felt strangely compelling, something close to a tickling sensation, but it was the surprisingly soft, smooth fingers holding onto Alex's hand which felt _really_ good. As Anna concentrated on her writing, Alex's eyes found themselves wandering over the blonde strands in front of her, subtly admiring in the woman opposite.

"There," Anna said, letting go of Alex's hand and slapping the pen back onto the bar top, "I'll leave it with you Agent Danvers."

Alex's eyes narrowed in confusion and looked down at her arm where Anna had written. It was a telephone number.

Alex let out a nervous snigger, an involuntary reflex as she wasn't sure what to do now. _I can't be getting these signals wrong,_ she thought. Anna smiled at her, and slowly placed the cap back on the marker pen with a resounding click. Certain that she'd left her in no doubt, the firefighter smiled warmly once more and began to turn on her heel to join her colleagues back at the other side of the bar, but as she went to turn, the brunette DEO agent grabbed her gently by the crook of her arm.

"Alex. It's...... Alex."

They gazed at one another for a moment and it felt like the whole bar had fallen silent.

"Alex...." Anna repeated, as if she were storing it in her memory bank. "...call me, okay?"

With that, Anna Preston strode back to her colleagues at the bar, who had all begun drinking shots and had lined up three Jagers for her to catch up. Alex watched as the blonde fell back into the crowd of rowdy firefighters, and they traded insults with one another back and forth in between shots, bantering and drinking.

 _She is fucking hot,_ Alex thought.

Alex zipped her leather jacket to the top and scooped up her motorcycle helmet once more, before pushing the bar on the heavy emergency door and stepping out into the cold, National City night. The door closed slowly before slamming behind her, and because Alex Danvers headed straight out towards her Ducati without looking back, she wouldn't have seen the biker jacket-clad figure stood behind the pool table, cue in hand, silently watching everything that had just unfolded.

And what they'd seen stirred feelings which had previously been dismissed..... until now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnn! Thoughts?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is struggling to concentrate given the rollercoaster she's been on recently, and she can't seem to shake Maggie from her thoughts. But it begins to dawn on her that the only person who can save her from herself is - herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so I hate summaries and aren't great at them. Alex definitely does deserve happiness, but it's also got to be right for our cargo-panted heroine of the DEO.

The next two days had been fairly nondescript. The DEO appeared to be going through what could only be considered as a quiet patch, and even Kara had observed that she felt things had calmed down on the alien front, albeit it felt like the calm before the storm.

The relative normalcy which had descended on the DEO felt uneasy, as if the agency didn't like experiencing times without drama, but it enabled some to get their heads down and concentrate on projects, ideas, theories; things that often took a backseat to regular unfolding events which hit their radar.

Agent Danvers had used the last couple of days to get some paperwork done, which perhaps in light of recent events, was a blessing. Alex's head had felt fuzzy and clouded for a while, and with the added mix of the recent unexpected voyage of self-discovery swiftly followed by heartbreak, she needed some downtime more than she was willing to admit. She'd hidden herself away in a corner of one of the floors at the DEO and intended to crack on with some overdue administration, dumping a mountain of files onto a cold metal desk with the plan of tackling them head on. But Alex wasn't even ten minutes into her admin when her mind began to wander and highlights of the last few days began to swirl.

Two nights ago, a blonde female firefighter had brazenly written her digits on Alex's arm in one of the most blatant come-ons Alex had ever experienced, before asking the stunned DEO agent to call her sometime. Alex's heart had been pounding in her chest at the bar when she realised she wasn't dreaming that it was flirtation, and the experience, coupled with the warming sensation of several beers, left her feeling intrigued and giddy. She'd left the bar by cab, shortly after securing her bike helmet to her Ducati, before stepping out toward the main intersection to flag one down. When she'd gotten home, Alex had hastily copied the number scrawled on her arm onto a notepad, which usually resided on a lamp table in her living room. She'd watched the black ink run down her arm as she showered, the digits Anna had written fading under the hot jets of water, eventually disappearing as she cleansed. Alex had watched the series of numbers grow fainter under the hot water of the shower like they were written in disappearing ink, thinking back to the attractive blonde at he bar holding onto her hand to purposefully scribble them down, and as they faded, despite what had just transpired an hour or so earlier, her thoughts of the night also began to fade as she began to revert back to a different memory.

Alex was motionless as she stood in the shower, one arm across her stomach, and her other upwards, her hand rubbing the back of her neck as the hot water coursed over her tired body. It wasn't like the eldest Danvers sister to daydream, but as the confused giddiness from her interaction with Anna back at the bar seemed to dissipate with the ink, she thought back to the person who'd ignited this whole recent spin her mind had fallen into. Alex closed her tired eyes and replayed that painful memory again, and again, and again.

The kiss. The aching urge to do it had consumed her. She'd urgently pulled Maggie close to her and did what she'd been wanting to do for so long, as the ache inside her had become so unbearable and it needed to be acted upon it before she lost her nerve completely. Maggie's lips had tasted of liquor and lip balm, and her scent which Alex had noted so many times before when they were in close proximity, lingered with intensity as their bodies were touching. She felt like she'd been waiting her whole life to experience something like this, and for a brief second that kiss felt like the release of 29 years of want. It felt so right.

But Alex's eyes opened slowly as she remembered the reality. Maggie pulling away from the kiss. Something wrong. Alex being fresh off the boat. This type of relationship wouldn't work out. Maggie wanted to just be friends. _Are we cool?_ Alex's upright arm snapped back downwards as she slapped the shower tap off behind her. With the same suddenness, the warm, comforting water that had surrounded her cut out abruptly.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." Alex whispered to herself, shaking her head gently as beads of water snaked down her body and into the drain below.

Once she'd dried off and changed, Alex poured herself a small measure from one of the bottles in her kitchen, not looking to see which one it was and not caring too much either. Kara had expressed dismay at Alex's ready selection of whiskies and other spirits, too often enjoyed, but had been scolded by her elder adoptive sister for interfering. The youngest Danvers had grown concern for Alex's drinking, observing her sister enjoying a finger of whisky on most occasions when at home, whether she had company or not, and Alex had told her in no uncertain terms to mind her own business.

Alex sipped from her glass tumbler and slouched into the corner of her couch; the cushions staying rigid and uninviting, as was the downfall of the style over substance furniture Alex had purchased when she'd leased the apartment. She reached across to the table in front of her and picked up her cell phone. A minute or so had passed along with two or three more sips of the warming whisky, before she finally unlocked the screen and her fingers instinctively went to press the green 'Messages' button in the top left hand corner. Alex paused for a second before pressing the screen again to compose her message.

To:

Maggie Sawyer

Alex bit her lip with apprehension. She wanted to hear from Maggie so badly. She took another sip of whisky.

Alex's short nails drummed on the screen for a second as her inner self tortured over whether sending something as simple as a text message would be her undoing. _This is ridiculous_ , she thought, smiling to herself with raised eyebrows, _She wants to be friends, friends text each other, right?_

She began to type out a message, emptying the tumbler of its strong liquor simultaneously. She placed the empty glass safely next to her on the cushion of the couch. Re-reading her first sentence, Alex deleted the whole thing. _Who knew something as simple as a text could be so difficult._ She pursed her lips as she tried to formulate an introduction on text, desperately attempting to keep it breezy and light, non-committal yet friendly, engaging but throwaway; content that pretended she wasn't bothered if a reply came or not, which was so far removed from the reality it was debilitating.

The cursor on the text message blinked expectantly, waiting for Alex to write something. Her brow furrowed and she let out a sigh of resignation. She decided it was better to not write anything and just leave it. It was 12.30 on Friday night or Saturday morning - either way you looked at it, it was late. And a text at this time to Maggie would give the game away in such obvious a fashion that no number of breezy non-committal sentences could hide. Anyone who knew the laws of cellphones etiquette and emotions knew that any communication beyond 11.00pm was some kind of plea, potentially filled by booze. Alex rubbed her temple with her free hand, knowing this was probably the sensible decision. The warm taste of scotch had faded from her mouth and she decided to pour herself one final glass in solace before hitting the hay.

Alex placed her hand downwards to push herself up from the couch, when her cell phone chimed at her unexpectedly with a text message. Alex barely believed what she saw: it was from Maggie. Alex paused a moment before opening the message.

Hey.

 _Hey?_ Alex thought. She hovered over the touch screen buttons to reply.

Hey yourself. Alex pressed send defiantly. She felt her pulse race a little when a minute passed and she hadn't received a reply from the detective. Alex thought about switching her cell off. _Why would she text me at this time? Did I accidentally send her a text a moment ago? This is so -_

The telltale bubbles of a reply being commenced popped up on Alex's screen, and her eyes sparkled a little in the harsh reflection of the light. Maggie's reply eventually came.

Thought I saw you tonight

Alex's dark eyes narrowed as she took in the words and cast her mind back a couple of hours. _Tonight?_ She blinked in recollection, trying to place where Maggie might have seen her. The DEO agents shook her head as she couldn't place seeing the detective, and went into her direct reply.

A: Oh really, where?

The reply was instantaneous. There were no pauses for careful consideration now.

M: The bar. Guess you didn't see me

A: I guess not. You should have come over, we were playing pool

M: I got there late, didn't see you playing pool

Alex felt the tiniest flutter in her stomach. If Maggie didn't see her playing pool, then when did she see her? At the beginning, with Kara? Before she got there? _Why didn't she just say hey?_

Alex shook her head in confusion. It was late, they'd obviously both been at the bar, obviously both had been drinking. Why on earth was Maggie texting at this time, when Alex herself had decided only moments earlier that it wasn't appropriate. Alex had only had a handful of people she trusted to be friends in her life, she guessed late-night texting must have been something she'd missed out on.

A: You should have said hi. How are you?

M: I'm good. I've got a friend with me. Think you know him. Jack Daniels.

A rueful smile crept across Alex's face as she looked down at the empty glass next to her. She tucked a bare foot underneath her body as she shifted to a more comfortable position on the couch.

A: I'm familiar with his work. So what's up, it's late

The screen stayed static for a minute as Alex's message was being digested at the other end, and it felt like a lifetime. Another minute passed. The pause seemed longer than usual. Finally the bubbles of a response in action appeared.

M: Can't sleep.

A: Yeah I know something about that.

Alex waited for Maggie to respond. Her eyes darted expectantly over the screen, searching to see if her counterpart was typing at the other end. The screen remained the same for a couple of minutes before timing out and turning to black. Alex flinched involuntarily as she didn't expect to see the cellphone go into standby waiting for the woman at the other end to reply. She unlocked the cell and stared at the screen, but still there was no reply from Maggie. A confused expression dawned on the brunette's face, the involuntary response of disappointment already beginning when she realised there would be no response after several minutes had passed. Alex thought about sending another message. _You still there? Was she OK?_ But as Alex's finger hovered over the keyboard, she knew she shouldn't write any more. She knew a little about the intricacies of cell communication, and double texting was the height of desperation.

She let out a deep, audible exhalation and switched her phone off completely. Alex moved the empty glass tumbler from its position on the couch to the safety of the table in front, and she headed to bed. As she placed her hand on the lightswitch, Alex looked forlorn at the iPhone laying dormant on the coffee table, before switching the lights off.

 

Alex's eyes had glazed over and it was only the nearby crash of a coffee cup falling off a desk which snapped her from her daydream. She blinked her eyes purposefully and directed her gaze back to the stack of files piled on the desk in front of her, each thick with many pieces of paper jutting out at disorganised angles. Alex sighed and drew a couple of files from the top onto the spare space of the desk, and absent-mindedly picked up a pen, biting the lid off and letting it fall back onto the surface of the desk. She opened the faded pale orange folder nearest her and looked at the first page of handwritten notes. Alex's eyes scanned over the words in front of her, but no coherent sentences made it into her brain, as instead her senses drifted beyond the here and now.

_Why was she texting me to say she couldn't sleep?_

Alex had agonised for 24 hours as to why Maggie Sawyer had been thinking of her late that night, feeling the need to reach out and seek Alex's company albeit via text message, and the analysis by Agent Danvers hadn't been in any way enlightening. Alex had tried to forget the late night message conversation and concentrate on her work, but as things were going slow, her brain continued to torture her by slipping back into thinking about Maggie.

Maggie, the tough yet soft detective. Who probably took five minutes to get ready in the morning but looked effortlessly beautiful. Maggie who was so supportive of Alex, both in and outside of work. Alex flicked her pen between her fingers quickly, as she recalled the image of Maggie standing looking breathlessly sensational outside the alien fight club; the head of the ballpoint tapping continuously against the hard table with noisy irritation. A colleague at the next desk looked up from their work and tutted at Alex's absent-minded pen tapping.

 _Alex Danvers, you need to stop this,_ she thought, clearing her throat and looking around as if to double check people couldn't read her thoughts,  _If you're going to move on you're going to have to help yourself. She wants to be friends, nothing more._

Maggie had told Alex she would be there for her, now the journey of her new normal was beginning. Alex paused for a moment and thought. As much as it hurt her, if it wasn't the right time to be with Maggie, if she couldn't have her, then she should make the most of Maggie being her friend and take her up on her offer of being a friend. This  _was_ all shiny and new to Alex, and if she was going to start experiencing life in the gay lane, she'd need a supportive shoulder to lean on. Maggie had been there and done it, and in actual fact having someone so close to her through this voyage of self-discovery could only be a good thing.

_A real, full, happy life._

The words echoed in Alex's head once more, but this time, they resonated in a different way. Alex Danvers was a determined, resolute woman and she had never wallowed like this before in her life. She'd been through an emotional rollercoaster recently that much was plainly true, but she had also let it consume her to the point of her regressing. She'd felt her work had suffered, and Alex felt in doing that, it was letting everyone down. No, she needed to start living her life. She needed to summon the strength to move past this dark period, like she'd done so many times before professionally and personally, and help herself to find happiness.

Alex knew where to start.

The brunette turned and rustled in the pocket of her jacket slung over the chair, pulling her cellphone out, unlocking it in the process. Alex whipped it around in front of her face, both hands holding it, enabling her to press the touchscreen buttons with her thumbs quickly and efficiently. A concentrated expression crept across her face as she glared at the bright screen, her brow furrowing with intensity as she typed and typed and typed. As she reached the end of her typing, Alex pressed her lips together nervously, before hitting 'Send'.

No sooner had the DEO agent placed her iPhone back on the desk, than a reply ensued. Alex slowly picked up the cellphone to look at the reply, turning her head sideways and keeping one eye closed in defence as she did, as if that would shield her from whatever the response had to say. But as she read the reply text she found both her eyes keenly open and quickly digesting each word as quickly as her brain could process them. She even allowed herself a smile. Alex's fingers worked quickly to send another message across, this time with increased confidence and no hesitation in hitting the 'Send' button, keeping the slim device in her hand so that she may receive the next response as quick as she could.

She didn't have to wait long.

The cellphone buzzed excitedly in Alex's hands and her eyes darted across the words that had popped up in a blue speech bubble on the screen. She didn't know it, but a smile began forming as she read and re-read the last text, an involuntary reaction to allowing herself an attempt to make a foray into happiness. Alex read the text one further time, before placing the cell on the cold work surface in front of her, and resuming her concentration onto the pile of paperwork waiting to be dealt with on the desk. This time, for some reason, Alex had no problem in knuckling down to the job in hand.

As Alex became engrossed in the complex set of notes before her, her cellphone's screen began to fade as it timed out. The last text message received began to fade.

_Sounds good. I know the place, I'll see you there at 7.30. Looking forward to it. A xx_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is perhaps turning out to be an even slower burn than I intended, oops! But I love Sanvers so I'll try to pick up the pace in this fic in the next chapter, and get to some juicy stuff :)
> 
> As always, your feedback is appreciated, so if you liked reading this, or didn't like reading this, or just wanted to say hello, leave me a comment. (Also if you like a bit of WayHaught check out my other fics. Shameless WayHaught plug! God I miss Wynonna Earp.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little flashback to last night only compounds the misery - for Maggie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case we'd forgotten the Sawyer in Sanvers... this one's just a shorty to tie you over until I have a bit more time.

Apartment 2a was a little on the messy side. Its small kitchen had several dirty plates stacked in the sink, and several empty beer bottles lined up on the kitchen counter. If there was one thing Maggie wasn't, it was tidy.

Despite living on her own with no-one else to tidy up after her, she had a bad habit of using all the dishes until there was not a single item of crockery left, and then she'd reluctantly wash a few up. It wasn't that she was unhygienic, far from it, she just had much more pressing things going on in her life to care about keeping her homeware in order.

Maggie had arrived home after a particularly long and unsatisfying day out on the streets of National City. She threw her biker jacket over the back of a worn, green armchair in the living room and headed into the kitchen to grab a drink. It was late and she hadn't eaten, but she was too tired to endure the pain of trying to conjure up a meal from the scraps in the refrigerator. She bent down and pulled off her heeled boots as she went, tossing one after the other behind her as she approached the refrigerator. Next to it was a fish tank, long abandoned by any inhabitants, but still full of water. A year or so ago, Maggie had gotten two goldfish with her then girlfriend, ostensibly the first step on the rung of the commitment ladder, but both goldfish had died around the same time the relationship fizzled out. Detective Sawyer had never really cared too much for the little fish in the first place, but when she found both floating on top of the water the day after her girlfriend left, she knew it was life's way of reinforcing the message that the love affair was over. After a few words of condolence, she'd flushed them down the toilet.

She slammed the heavy door of the refrigerator shut after having hooked out a bottle of beer, twisting off the cap and letting it fall onto the counter with a resounding *clink*. Maggie leaned back against the kitchen cabinets and sank a hefty glug of beer, letting the cold liquid slide down her throat before letting a heavy sigh escape from her lips. Her day had been crappy; a suspect had resisted arrest earlier in the day and in amongst flying arms and legs, he'd elbowed Maggie in the throat. It was a particularly horrible feeling, but with no cut or bruise to show for it, Maggie didn't want to let on to her colleagues just how much pain she was in, receiving a sharp bony elbow into the middle of her throat, so she ploughed on regardless, but ensuring she gave the suspect a swift knee in the genitals when no-one was looking. She was a good cop - that wasn't it doubt - but she would never be walked over.

As she sank another mouthful of beer, Maggie also thought back over the day's events in a mental evaluation. She smiled knowingly as she cast her mind back to this afternoon when one of the officers back at the station was describing an encounter they'd had with the Department of Extra-Normal Operations, and one particularly cold, hard agent. Maggie had craned her neck to listen in to the rookie officer berate the woman he'd come up against; a direct, abrupt, know-it-all. Maggie had turned her attention away from the rookie as she was at her desk and allowed herself a muffled snigger as she knew he could only be talking about one person. Agent Alex Danvers.

Maggie's smiled faded as she moved away from the kitchen cabinets and headed into her living room, kicking her boots back towards the apartment door as she got near them. It was late last night when she'd texted Alex; she didn't know why she did, but eventually the urge had become so overwhelming she just thought  _fuck it_ , and no sooner than she'd picked up her cellphone than she was sending a message. What she'd said to Alex was true, she couldn't sleep. She'd gone to bed, and had tossed and turned for a couple of hours before deciding to lie still and hope that sleep would wash over her. It didn't. As she laid in her bed, a familiar theme crept into her thoughts, and she allowed her mind to wander amongst the memories and theories that had plagued her over the last few weeks.

Maggie had been scared by what had taken place a week or so beforehand in the bar. She meant every word of what she'd said to Alex, that she deserved to live her life and be who she wanted to be - rather, be who she  _was_ \- and would be there every step of the way to support her friend in her journey. But when Alex had kissed her at the pool table, she freaked out. Maggie had only just split from her girlfriend and to already jump into something with a newbie.... it made her head spin. As the detective laid in bed, she cast her mind back over all those occasions when it was just the two of them, working side by side, working cases, taking down aliens and criminals, being badass. She'd loved every minute of it, and it was only because she'd found, for the first time, someone who was equally as focused and determined in the same way as she was, and, it didn't hurt that Alex was pretty easy on the eye.

She'd sat up in bed, her dark hair bedraggled around her shoulders draping over her grey vest, thinking about exactly how easy on the eye Alex was. There was no two ways about it: Alex was sensational. Maggie bit her lip as she pictured the DEO agent in her head, her tall, slim frame with some handy curves; her hair that seemed to be less straight every time she saw her; those dark eyes which were so expressive.... and those lips which were just begging, begging to be kissed. Maggie felt a warm sensation between her legs at the mere thought of Alex Danvers in all her leather-jacketed glory. She picked up her cellphone and began sending a message.

As Maggie finished her bottle of beer on the couch, she picked up her cell again and looked at the last message in the conversation, which was from Alex:

_Yeah I know something about that._

Maggie hadn't replied. If she'd replied, she would have spilled her entire guts out on text and that wasn't what she wanted to do. She was trying with all her might to keep everything inside and not let Alex know what she was  _really_ feeling, because she didn't want to jeopardise the friendship she treasured.

As a young girl in Nebraska, young Maggie Sawyer hadn't had an easy upbringing. She'd told her family as soon as she could, she'd be enrolling in law enforcement and there was nothing they could do to stop them. Her family didn't approve, but then again, they weren't wholly approving of just about anything Maggie liked. She'd found it hard to make friends; not because she wasn't fun to be around, but she'd found it hard to truly trust those around her, and so it was just as easy to not get close to anyone and keep them at arms length. That was she wouldn't get hurt, and they wouldn't get hurt. But that theory soon melted away when she met Laura when she was 17. Maggie had had dalliances before then, with both men and women, but she'd never felt anything for anyone like the way she felt for Laura. They'd started as friends, the best of friends, but soon they found their commonalities within their small town had brought them together for a different reason - wanting to be with another girl. It was the first same-sex relationship either had been in, and it had been wonderful for both of them, giving them hope in a sometimes miserable existence in the harsh environment of small-town, small-minded Nebraska. Of course, it eventually fizzled out. Both were growing up and had plans for their futures; they'd promised to stay together and work through a long-distance relationship but, like so many others, it didn't work. Both were discovering new frontiers; emotionally and physically. Maggie had become taken with a bartender at one of the bars in her new neighbourhood, and without seeing Laura for another six weeks and the aching between her thighs every Friday and Saturday night, it eventually became too much to bear. They ended the relationship mutually, and the next night the bartender called time at the bar an hour early, with a waiting Maggie out in the stock room peeling off her clothes.

So back under the warmth of her dark grey sheets, Maggie had quit out of her text messages and resolved to actually get some sleep, despite all the questions running through her mind. Before she knew it, she dropped off, and on the other end, Alex had fallen asleep too.

Coupled with the sleepless night yesterday, and being elbowed right in the gullet today, Maggie wasn't too shy to admit: she was feeling sorry for herself.

The clock on her living room wall ticked noisily as if it had a point to prove as the dark-haired detective remained motionless on the couch, one foot propped on the cushion comfortably.

 _I wanted to tell her so badly_ , she thought.

Maggie put her lips to the top of the empty beer bottle, blowing across it absent-mindedly, creating a melodic pipe-like sound as she so often did when she wasn't concentrating. She closed her eyes.

_We hung out, we got close. Then you called me out for liking you, and then I had the guts to admit, yes, it's true.... Because I was sure of one thing, and that was my feelings. For you._

Those words rattled around Maggie's head, echoing and reverberating, and the truth and sheer courage of them felt like a dagger through her heart.  _I know Alex, I know,_ she said to herself. She paused, and Maggie felt her eyes unexpectedly begin to sting. Maggie shook her head as if that would magic away the feelings that seemed to be controlling her at that moment, her emotions getting the better of her as could think only of Alex.

 _Come on Sawyer, man up_ she thought, wiping an errant tear which had broken down her cheek, which felt hot as they flushed pink. She'd struggled on for so long, she just needed to get over this little hiccup, it wasn't like she'd not ever done this before: doing the right thing, being sensible, putting someone else's needs first and not just her own desires. Maggie sniffed away a tear and her brow furrowed slightly in puzzlement.  _Wait,_ she thought, _this is right isn't it, it is right to hide this?_ Maggie cleared her throat and looked around her apartment for an answer which never came, desperately searching for a sign of how she should deal with her inner turmoil. The clock continued to tick loudly in the deafening silence of Margaret Sawyer's home.

This was ridiculous. She needed to do something.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuh-huh.
> 
> So.... is anyone actually reading this?!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex finally goes on a date with Anna, the pretty firefighter she met recently. It's taken a lot of courage to finally get to this point, but with the added bonus of wine, anything can happen....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys it's taken ages to get this down, I've got all kinds of things going on! In any case, I know some of you think this has been too much of a slow burn, and to some degree I agree, so I'm trying to quicken things up a bit! I hope everyone's looking forward to Supergirl starting again in the next few weeks, it's felt like a lifetime!

The next morning, Maggie knew exactly what she needed to do. Or rather, she knew exactly who she needed to talk to - what she was going to do was still an unknown, though she'd hoped it would became clear once she'd spoken with her. Alex.

"Sawyer," Alex picked up the call, her tone a little surprised, "What can I do for you?"

Maggie went to speak and her voice croaked a little, cracking in an amusing fashion. She cleared her throat quickly and replied.

"Danvers. It's been a hot minute. Just wanted to see how the DEO's finest was doing."

Alex was standing in line for a coffee at the Starbucks around the corner from her apartment. She was late going into work, and today she'd be finishing early too. As the barista fumbled writing 'Alex' on her grande straight white, she paused for a moment in deliberation before giving her response.

"I'm good," Alex replied thoughtfully, "yeah, good. I feel like it's been a long time since I could say that. How are you?"

Maggie took a split second to pour over Alex's response. _Why had it been a long time since she felt good?_ Maggie thought, before she spluttered her reply back as she could barely make out Alex was still on the other end of the line.

"Yeah I'm, uh, I'm good _too_. What's all that noise Danvers?"

"I'm getting coffee. Look Maggie, uh, I've got to dash." Alex said, with a hint of regret.

"Oh no, yeah of course, no, I don't want to hold you up," Maggie replied, trying to sound easygoing and carefree, but failing miserably; "maybe I can give you a call tonight?"

The racket at the other end of the line made it difficult to hear as Alex responded quietly, so much so that the detective couldn't make out what she said. Maggie asked her to repeat.

"I said," Alex said, her tone a little louder though her voice was shaky, "I can't talk tonight. I have....um.... I have a _date_."

The line fell silent for a moment, with only the whoosh of milk being frothed and china cups being clinked in the background as Alex stood clutching her coffee. She pressed her cellphone against her ear as she waited for Maggie to reply. The reply wasn't forthcoming.

"Maggie?"

The line stayed silent. Alex drew the cell away from her ear for a moment to check if her cellphone was still on. It was.

"Maggie, are you there?"

"Uh yeah, I'm still here, sorry..." Maggie's voiced trailed off as Alex squinted with concentration to try and hear her on the other end. "Look, Danvers, you need to get going, so I'll let you go. Enjoy your.... your...."

Alex pressed the hot coffee cup in her hand against her other ear, attempting to hear her counterpart better, but she struggled to make out what she was saying.

"Maggie...?"

The line was dead.

 

................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

It was 7.15pm. A couple of days earlier, Agent Alex Danvers had arranged to meet again with Anna Preston, the pretty, blonde firefighter from ladder 34, who she'd interviewed about potential alien interference in an office attack downtown. Alex was pacing up and down her bedroom, her face flushing pink with anticipation. Her dark hair was a little more curled than usual, and she was wearing a sleeveless navy blue top along with her customary slim jeans and boots, with just enough jewellery to keep it understated. Alex had spent the last 40 minutes adjusting her make up, which she couldn't make out if it was too little or too much, she just wished she knew what Anna would be wearing and how she'd be looking in case they were on totally different plains. Alex wished she'd texted Anna a little earlier to ask the question, and she had thought of doing it at the time, but then she thought maybe she was overthinking things, so proceeded to regret overthinking by thinking about it for the next hour.

A familiar _whoosshhh_ sound was accompanied by a sudden gust of wind as Kara flew into the living room of Alex's apartment. Alex had asked her to come over earlier in the day so Kara could lend her opinion on how she looked. Alex strode out of the bedroom and into the living room, her walk tinged with nervousness as she struggled to look Kara in the eye. Kara placed her hands on her hips and gave a broad smile.

"Alex! Look at you." Kara beamed.

Her adoptive sister shook her head and looked at the floor, her nerves barely concealed and threatening to consume her. Alex wrung her hands together to get her circulation going, a habit she had since she was a child. She looked up at her sister standing opposite.

"Kara.... I feel like I'm making a mistake. This is too soon."

Kara looked startled. "Too soon? For what? Too soon to be happy? Alex - "

"Not too soon to be happy," Alex interrupted, "I mean, going on a date with someone when I'm still.... I'm still...."

Kara exhaled loudly, but attempted to sound sympathetic. "You're still _what_ , exactly?"

Alex began to pace the living room as she had done in her bedroom moments before, her hands rubbing at her arms instinctively; Kara knew what she meant, Alex didn't need to explain. But here, as Alex Danvers was on the cusp of finally moving forward with her life, doing something for herself for once instead of worrying about everyone else, she found herself strangely vulnerable. Kara moved in front of Alex to stop her in her tracks, and placed her hands tenderly on Alex's shoulders.

"Alex, whatever happens tonight, you need to stop worrying about everyone else - worrying about what they think - and just enjoy yourself. This girl-"

"Anna," Alex interjected, "though I'm not sure _girl_ is the right expression. But don't ask me what the right one is. I'm still figuring it out." She smiled.

"Anna," Kara smiled, "you're just two _people_ on a date. No pressure. Just talk to one another. See what the other's like. No-one has to get married."

The brunette agent's eyes flicked a little wider involuntarily at the word 'married' and Alex let out a nervous laugh, as Kara rolled her eyes, observing her sister's unusual flightiness. She continued.

"What I'm saying, is that whether or not you still have feelings for Maggie, just.... just go out and don't think of anything beyond tonight."

Alex nodded appreciatively, thankful for the calming influence of her sister, all the while remarking how it felt in this instant the tables had turned momentarily in their relationship. For as long as she could remember, she was the calm one, and Kara needed reassurance. Now, stood in the relative darkness of Alex's blue-grey apartment, Alex was grateful for the love and understanding she shared with her adoptive sister. Alex looked up at the clock on the wall, then back at Kara, her lips parting as she went to speak.

"Need a ride?" Kara said, walking toward the balcony.

 

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Anna had been waiting at the restaurant for only five or six minutes, but she remarked to herself that Agent Danvers was late. She regarded this as unusual and not something she would have expected, given the impression Alex had bestowed throughout their interactions with one another, albeit limited. Anna checked her watch again as she sat at the restaurant's bar, a large glass of white wine in front of her on the counter. She watched a bead of condensation roll down the side of the cold glass before she felt a cold hand on her shoulder. Anna turned around on her stool to see Alex, her face flushed a little pink, her hand still placed on Anna's shoulder.

"Agent Danvers," Anna smiled, her eyes flicking downwards and upwards to take her in completely, her eyebrow raised. "You're late."

Alex let out a breath and let her hand fall back to her side. "I know, I'm sorry Anna - in the end I just had to _fly_ to get here." The two women exchanged polite smiles.

The two women exchanged pleasantries and idle chit-chat as Alex ordered a large glass of red Chilean wine from the bar, before a waiter showed them to their table. The restaurant did great Italian food, and could sometimes be considered one of the more upmarket establishments in National City. As they were being seated, Alex looked around and began to wish she'd worn something dressier. She took her seat and nervously pushed at the trendy rolled-up sleeves of her black blazer, placing her clutch bag on the table in front of her, all the while aware that Anna was watching her. The waiter set both their drinks on the small table before turning on his heel and headed to take an order from another couple nearby.

Finally Alex looked up at Anna, whose blue eyes sparkled in the deliberately romantic lighting of the restaurant, aided by a couple of candles in between their cutlery.

"I didn't think we'd ever make it here" Anna said.

Alex looked puzzled for a moment. "How come?" She smiled, her brow furrowed slightly. She took a sip of her rioja.

"Well," Anna ducked her head slightly as she spoke softly, "I did wonder just how many more hints I had to drop before you asked me out."

The glass stayed at Alex's lips but she didn't reply immediately. She placed it down purposefully on the table before replying.

"Just _one more time_ , it seems," she smiled, surprising herself with the flirtatiousness of her tone. Anna responded in kind by taking another mouthful of wine but her eyes fixed on Alex's. Alex continued, but her confidence didn't follow.

"A-and anyway, as a...um.... as an agent with the DEO, I'm not sure this is strictly, uh, above board."

'What, dating?" Anna replied.

"Not _dating_ in general, per se, but.... you know...." the words tumbled out of Alex nervously, "we'd entered into a relationship. In a work sense."

Anna raised her eyebrows and leaned back in her chair, her blonde hair falling around her face as she moved quickly, amused by Alex's description of their interaction at the DEO headquarters. Alex immediately looked startled by what she'd just said and blinked furiously, as if that would take back her last sentence and turn back time. Anna laughed.

"Agent Danvers," she husked, "half a glass of wine and we're already in a relationship? You move fast." She took another sip of wine.

Alex's face flushed with embarrassment. _You need to calm down_ , she thought to herself, moving her rapidly decreasing glass of wine to her lips once more. Both women placed their glasses back down on the table at the same time. Anna cleared her throat and the smile faded from her face.

"That waiter'll be back any minute. Let's take a look at the menu and order, whaddya say?"

Alex nodded in agreement and quickly brought the thick paper menu up to her face, almost grateful for its existence so she could partially hide her red face behind it.

 

 

Two courses and a bottle or so of wine later, Alex Danvers and Anna Preston were deeply engaged in conversation. Since the starters had been and gone and both had enjoyed their respective pasta, they'd talked and talked, covering a wide variety of topics. After a couple of glasses, Alex's nerves had all but fallen away, and she had essentially forgotten she was on a first date, rather, with the ease of conversation it felt like she was just enjoying a night out in good company. Anna had been easy to talk to; another woman in public services, working in a male-dominated environment, friendly, normal, sensible; yes she was easy to get along with. Alex had finished explaining about her route to the DEO, following intrigued questioning by the attractive blonde woman sat opposite, and she found herself talking freely about herself, the warming sensation of the wine removing any initial inhibitions she may have felt. Anna's eyes danced over Alex's face, illluminated dramatically by the dim restaurant lighting and the fading tealights below, waiting for her date to finish up her sentence. As the pair fell silent, they both retreated to the remnants of the wine in their glasses.

Alex poured the final few drips of the bottle of rioja into her wine glass and turned to place the bottle on the empty table behind her, before turning back to see Anna's amused expression.

"You all finished there, Agent Danvers?" She grinned.

"Uh-huh." Alex sank the wine and nodded with a coy grin. She pressed her lips together and stared back at the blonde firefighter. The evening had gone well so far, and she'd enjoyed being in the company of, from what she could tell initially, another like-minded woman. It felt like an evening with an old friend, laughing and joking, shared stories and experiences, with good food and wine in abundance.

"So, I have to tell you, I was.... really nervous about tonight," Alex admitted, "but if I can make another confession.... I've actually had a really good time."

Anna's face visibly brightened at the words, her eyebrows twitching with her smile, and her skin blushed subtly.

"Ah..." Anna struggled for a reply, "well if we're confessing, then I'd like to say I wasn't at all nervous about tonight. I couldn't wait in fact."

Alex let the words hang in the air for a second. It wasn't the first time she'd been flattered in such a way; growing up Alexandra Danvers hadn't exactly struggled for male attention, with her tall, athletic frame and feminine features. But Alex hadn't always reciprocated such flattery or flirtation; she was unsure what to do with it, she wasn't always comfortable with it, despite all her outward confidence. After a while she'd started to bat it away, unsure what to do with it, and very soon Alex learned to deflect compliments or attention and not even acknowledge their sincerity. Kara had observed this throughout their late teens, and whilst Alex wasn't interested in receiving compliments, the younger Danvers sister was all too happy to hang off flattering attention.

A few more seconds ticked by since Anna's last words. The firefighter started to think she'd been to honest; she'd spoken too soon and scared the woman across from her. She went to begin again but Alex beat her to it.

"Um..... thanks...? I uh, I don't really do to well at this sort of thing," She said awkwardly, shifting around in her seat. Anna raised her hands in an almost surrender.

"Look, if I made you uncomfortable, I - "

"You haven't made me uncomfortable," Alex interrupted, "I'm just not good with.... w-with this kind of thing." She pointed around the restaurant.

"Food?" Anna said, playfully.

"Dating." Alex said purposefully, giving a half-frown back, through her warm expression. In that moment, it felt like things had changed. Alex felt the liberating effects of the wine fall away, as she looked back at her date, both of them flushed a little pink with embarrassment, neither knowing what to say next. They sat in silence for a moment, each willing the other to speak first. Anna ran her hand through her blonde hair and cleared her throat.

"Um, I'm sorry, I thought.... I mean I thought....." she struggled for the words, "I like you, okay? I wanted to see you again. Alex, when you interviewed me at the DEO, you were so.... I mean you _looked so_....." Anna's voice tailed off as she didn't dare compliment Alex again. Her blue eyes flicked back and forth between Alex's brown irises.

"Anna, don't apologise, you've got nothing to apologise for," Alex said regretfully, "It's just me. If it's any consolation, I was so nervous earlier, I had to get my sister round to let me know if I looked OK or not!" She smiled.

Anna returned the smile, her eyes dancing up and down Alex, reviewing her appearance once more. She sucked in her cheeks and turned her head to the side.

"And what did she say?"

The brunette turned to get the waiter's attention to bring another bottle, before turning back to answer the question. "What did she say? Now I think about it, I'm not sure!"

They laughed together, and the firefighter poured herself the remainder of the white wine, sticking the empty bottle back into the ice bucket upside-down. She took a sip and shook her head, her mind clouded in thought.

"Sisters," Anna said whistfully.

Alex smiled back politely, unsure of her counterpart's tone. "You have a sister?"

"I have two," Anna replied in a matter-of-fact tone, "and a brother."

Alex sat up in her chair, her eyes following the waiter at the far side of the restaurant popping open the next bottle of red with a corkscrew. Her eyes flicked back to Anna.

"How do you get on with them?" She asked.

"I don't," Anna said, her tone slightly harsh, as she sank a little in her chair. "I haven't spoken to them in years."

Alex raised her eyebrows with surprise. She was shocked; only just now, Anna had spoken about when she was young, her ambitions growing up, her time getting into the fire service, her close circle of friends. To hear she didn't get on with her sisters and brother felt like a bit of a bolt from the blue.

"Why haven't you - "

"Uh, if it's OK, can we not talk about my family?" Anna stopped her, raising a hand in defence. She attempted to smile but it wasn't with warmth, as she struggled to disguise her indifference to talking about her family. Alex didn't want to upset Anna, and as they sat in silence whilst the waiter returned to pour another glass of red, she watched Anna shift her expression so as not to perpetuate the awkwardness. Once the waiter left them, Alex leaned across the table, bringing her face a little closer to her date, her hand placed in the middle of the table between them, seeking to extinguish any awkwardness that remained. Anna's eyes, now a little glazed from her wine, looked down at Alex's hand then up into her face, the DEO agent's pretty features not lost on her in the romantic candlelight.

"Of course," Alex said softly, "we can talk about something else if you like."

Anna brought her hand up to meet Alex's in the middle of the table in acknowledgement, and gave it a brief squeeze. Alex looked down at their hands together and then back up at the woman opposite. She'd expected to feel a flutter as the attractive blonde touched her hand, her fingers surprisingly soft given the nature of her work; she'd thought there may have been a tingle, a sensory reminder from her body, one like she'd experienced all those times she'd brushed past Maggie, when their hands had accidentally touched, even just the sight of her. Alex had dared to imagine she might have even had the shot between her thighs; the same feeling when she and Maggie had kissed, when they'd been in close proximity; a warming sensation, the likes of which she'd never really experienced before. But as Anna beamed back at Alex, all it felt like, was friendship. A friendly gesture towards Anna, her lovely company that evening.

Alex's smile was warm but polite, as she began to realise the evening had worn on and she felt it was coming to its natural end, slowly pulling her hand away from Anna, who was still looking back at her with sparkly eyes. Their hands were still touching in the middle of the table when a familiar voice called out from across the restaurant.

"What the _fuck_ is this?"

The two women broke contact sharply and turned to look at who had yelled abruptly in the middle of the half-full restaurant.

There, stood in her biker jacket, was Detective Maggie Sawyer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feedback is appreciated, so whatever you think of this chapter, leave me a comment, I like to know what you guys think! Things are going to kick off in the next chapter....


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie interrupts Alex's first date with another woman. And Alex. Is. Not. Happy.
> 
> Why is Maggie so bothered though.... what could be troubling her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, two chapters in 48 hours? I must be mad! Anyway, I've known for a bit which direction I'd like this story to go in but I'm not ready for it to get there just yet.... a couple more chapters at least anyway :)
> 
> I am trying to quicken the pace of the slow burn though!

Alex stormed out of the restaurant after the diminutive detective, not even stopping to pull on her blazer, which flapped backwards and forwards rapidly in her hand as her arms pumped furiously with her quickened step.

"How  _dare_ you come here whilst I was on a date!" Alex hissed aggressively as she caught up with Maggie outside.

Maggie was standing on the sidewalk, motionless. Since her outburst in the restaurant minutes earlier, Alex and her date, Anna, turned around quickly and snapped their focus onto the shocked detective, who'd found her way into the restaurant and called them out unexpectedly. The restaurant fell silent immediately; diners all around her looking over at the source of the shouting, before whispering in hushed voices about the dramatic nature of her exclamation. Anna looked on as Alex stood up from her seat at their table, her mouth falling open with shock as Maggie cast her dark, meaningful eyes over the pair of them, before giving a slow shake of the head once she'd identified them together. Alex had stuttered an apology as she threw several large bills onto the table hurriedly, quickly weaving through the square tables dotted around in order to catch up with Maggie, who had bolted out of the restaurant's exit. Alex hadn't looked back to see Anna's face flushing red with embarrassment.

"How  _dare_ you?" Alex spat again, drawing close to Maggie, stationary on the sidewalk.

The two woman faced each other in the cool, crisp air of the National City evening. Alex paused to catch her breath, her heart pumping in her chest rapidly. She was  _angry._ What  _was_ Maggie doing there, in that place, at that time, yelling at them in the middle of a busy restaurant? What on earth was she thinking, following Alex onto a date, her first date now she knew her new normal, when only recently she'd made it clear she only wanted to be friends?

Alex's chest rose and fell with each deep breath, her pulse racing with adrenaline, anger, anticipation. She swallowed hard as she waited for the detective to respond. Maggie stood silently, her mouth falling open to try and speak, but the words didn't seem to form easily.

"Answer me!" Alex snapped, flinging her arm out in gesticulation, her black jacket flapping in her hand with the gesture.

"What do you want me to say?" Maggie snapped back, trying to square up to Alex opposite, but suddenly very aware of their height difference.

Alex's expression turned to surprise, as her eyebrows raised. "What do I want you to....? Maggie, you  _followed_ me onto a date." She said, breathlessly.

Maggie's nose scrunched up and she looked away dismissively upon hearing the word 'date', bringing her hand up as a barrier between them. She smiled and shook her head once more, which made Alex boil over. She sidestepped around to catch Maggie's attention, ducking her head to stare the detective in the eye. Maggie had never seen Alex so furious before; her voice trembling with anger, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"You'd better have an answer for me or - "

 

"Or you'll what?" Maggie snapped again, facing Alex square. Alex moved close to the dark-haired woman opposite, pausing a moment before responding.

"Just what in the  _hell_ are you doing here Maggie? I mean.... how did you even know I was  _here?_ "

"Alex, please, just - "

"Tell me." Alex interrupted, her teeth gritted together.

Maggie's eyes darted between Alex's, the silence between them deafening. She'd never seen Alex so worked up. The detective took a moment before she responded, punctuated with a deep breath.

"Supergirl told me."

Alex's eyes immediately narrowed, and her face contorted with surprise and near disbelief as the words tumbled out of Maggie's mouth.  _Supergirl?_

"That's right," Maggie continued, "she told me you were here."

The elder Danvers moved backwards a step, her eyes conveying her confusion, darting around, trying to take in her surroundings as a million different thoughts bounced around her head. Maggie watched as Alex stood silently, trying to make sense of what she'd just heard. After several moments, Alex ran her hand through her dark hair and looked back at Maggie.

"Supergirl? She told you I was here?"

Maggie stuck her hands in the pockets of her jeans. "She did. I knew she'd know where'd you be, you two seem so close..."

Alex waived away the last sentence, the anger of Maggie marching in on her personal plans for the evening simmering back to the surface, and her eyes darkened. She let out a bemused laugh.

"Yeah, me and Supergirl...." she narrowed her eyes, "...I don't know why she felt it as necessary to tell  _you_ where I was tonight, because it is  _none_ of your  _goddamn business_." She spat, her eyes beginning to tear.

Maggie saw Alex's cheeks redden, and her beautiful brown eyes begin to glisten in the streetlights illuminating the cold National City evening. Seeing Alex upset made Maggie feel horrible. She felt sick, her stomach turning at the sight of the tough woman with indomitable spirit begin to crack in front of her. The air had turned chilly and both saw their deep breaths plume out in front of them as steam, a visible reminder at how much their hearts were still pumping.

"You're right, where you were going and who you were going with,  _should_ be none of my business Danvers," Maggie said.

Alex listened intently.

"But when I saw who you were with...."

Maggie's sentence fell away as if she didn't have the strength to muster the words, her voice cracking at the end of the sentence.

"Goddamn it Maggie," Alex said despairingly, "what are you  _doing_ here? Jesus Christ, you followed me in here and yelled at us in a restaurant for God's sakes!"

Before Maggie could respond, her eyes were distracted by a figure who had appeared at the entrance to the restaurant; stepping outside and tugging their coat over their shoulders. Alex saw Maggie's eyes focus away from her own, and she turned her head inquisitively to see what had distracted her.

Anna wrapped her woollen red coat across her petite frame nervously, pulling it around her for warmth now she had stepped out into the cold. She exchanged glances between Alex and Maggie, backwards and forwards, but not uttering a word. Her breath was also visible as she gulped for air. The silence between the three women was deafening, and Alex began to focus her attention between the firefighter and the detective next to her, who both suddenly appeared to her as if they were not strangers to one another.

Anna went to take a step towards the arguing pair.

"Don't - " Maggie said steadfastly, raising her hand.

Anna stopped in her tracks, one foot planted in front of her, following Maggie's quick instruction to not come any closer.

Alex snapped her attention to Maggie, whose expression had turned, one she hadn't seen before now. The chill of the National City air wasn't even registering with Agent Danvers as she flicked her glances between the two women, who seemed to be caught in some kind of unspoken stand-off. She tried to make sense of what was going on, but her thoughts were hazy and her brain didn't seem to catch up, the evening's wine hampering her usually clear train of thinking. Maggie. Anna. They knew each other....?

"Maggie..." Anna said quietly.

Alex quickly looked at the detective, not daring to interrupt whatever this exchange was.

"I don't want to hear it, Anna, just.... don't." Maggie replied, turning away. Alex looked back at the blonde firefighter.

"Fine." Anna said, her voice shaking. "Just, just don't drag Alex into.... into whatever  _this_ is."

The DEO agent slowly pivoted to engage the petite detective, intently listening as it appeared that there was a link between Maggie and Anna. And not just a link, but an entire history by the sounds of things. Alex continued to look at Maggie. She was wearing her usual boots. Her usual dark jeans. A dark green v-neck shirt under her black biker jacket, and her long, dark hair framing her face as her head was bowed, her eyes fixed on the sidewalk below.  _She almost looks vulnerable_ , Alex remarked to herself, a sight she'd never seen before now.

Maggie looked up and stepped towards the blonde woman in the red coat, craning her neck towards her to accentuate her point. "I won't." She said in a harsh whisper.

With that, Maggie Sawyer turned quickly and walked quickly away from the pair, striding purposefully toward her motorcycle parked a little haphazardly up the street. Alex bounced onto the balls of her feet in readiness to run after her, but in the aftermath of their unexpected confrontation, Alex's common sense overruled her overwhelming urge to chase after her. Alex squinted beyond the detective to see Maggie's motorcycle a hundred or so yards away, her black helmet upside-down on the sidewalk next to the front wheel, not even secured to the bike. Alex's lips parted and she willed herself to open her mouth and shout after Maggie; she wasn't sure what she wanted to say, but she wanted to stop her, instinctively. But her mind went blank and no words presented themselves, and Alex stood silently, confused; her hands now fallen to her sides, her pulse beginning to slow and the adrenaline of the confrontation wearing off.

Anna stepped towards her and held out a hand, more as an offer of goodwill than anything out of hope. Alex managed to smile politely in response, the only expression she could muster as her head raced with a myriad of thoughts and feelings as Maggie was now out of sight, the sound of her motorcycle revving loudly the only indicator that she wasn't coming back.

Anna had started to talk but her words weren't resonating with the dark-haired woman stood opposite, her slim arms now folded across her chest. Alex was aware she was saying something but her mind had begun to wander, as she attempted to make sense of what had just taken place.

_She came to the restaurant, for what purpose? So she could yell at me? Why would Kara tell her where I was? And how in the world does she know Anna?_

Anna paused as she watched Alex turn to look back down the street to where Maggie had disappeared into the night, observing how unassumingly beautiful Alex looked at that moment, how blissfully unaware of the effect she had on those around her. Alex's head continued to be racing with questions, and a few further seconds passed before she slowly looked back at her date.

"Anna," she said, her tone regretful, "look, I'm really sorry about what just happened. I don't know what that was all about."

Anna nodded, and Alex continued.

"But, you know her, right? Maggie?"

A deep intake of breath was accompanied with a long exhalation as Anna stirred herself to respond to Alex's question, as she again tugged her red coat around her ostensibly for warmth, but Alex correctly identified was more out of insecurity.

"I do," she replied, "I've known Maggie for a while."

Alex pulled her black blazer on, one arm at a time, as she became aware how cold the night had grown around them. She looked Anna in the eye, intrigued.

"Go on."

 

..................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

 

Maggie slammed the door to her apartment behind her with such force that a frame hung on wall fell to the floor. It was her certificate when she got into the police force, and the only thing she treasured enough to have framed. Maggie didn't look down at the smashed glass of the frame, instead slumping onto her cold kitchen counter, her hands curled into fists, slammed onto the surface below her, her arms outstretched.

Earlier that evening, she'd done something she immediately regretted. In fact, Maggie had done a few things she'd regretted. Maggie placed her forehead on the smooth counter surface and placed her palms flat, burying her face into the kitchen counter as she rewound her memories from the night.

Her mind had been racing all day. Truth be told, her mind had been racing ever since the beginning. Ever since she'd clapped eyes on _her_. That day, with the President, when she walked over looking all smart in her black suit, getting all up in her face. Ever since that moment across the tarmac, Maggie had unknowingly fallen for Alex Danvers. Unknowingly until today, of course.

She'd played out the scenario in her head, again and again. She'd been here before. She'd had her heart broken. Maybe even a couple of times. Hell, she'd only just broken up with her girlfriend only recently. But something deep inside of her knew she wouldn't be able to shake this one off; an indescribable feeling that she'd never experienced before. Maggie had felt something similar, something perhaps like a diluted version, but when she allowed herself to think about Alex.... her heart fluttered, her stomach flipped, and her mouth went dry. And Alex probably had no idea this happened every goddamn time they were together.

Maggie jerked up from her position of solace on her kitchen counter and tugged at the sleeve of her jacket to pull it off. She was hot underneath the constrictive leather, but the jacket was cold from the night air beating down on her as she tore through the streets of National City on her motorcycle. Once it was off, Maggie threw the jacket over the back of the beaten up armchair near the door.

She looked up at the clock. It was late. But not too late to drink something a little harder so she could fall a little deeper. The detective headed over to her refrigerator, a well-trodden path, and pulled open the ice box, noisily dragging a bottle of vodka across the bottom. She flipped off the plastic cap and poured a generous measure into a nearby glass, immediately chugging down a hefty mouthful. Maggie winced at the cold of the liquid hitting her mouth and then again at the intense warmth as it slipped with familiarity down her throat. She wasted no time in downing the rest of the glass before pouring another.

 _What have I done....?_ She thought to herself, placing a hand on her hip.  _Maggie Saywer, you've gone too far this time._

Maggie rewound to earlier in the evening once more, and as she recalled her actions, her eyes closed with remorse.

She'd done the unthinkable. She'd shamefully pretended to be in trouble to get Supergirl's attention; to get her over quickly in order to extract information from her. Maggie had called out as if she was perilously in danger, screaming Supergirl's name over and over, something which she intrinsically knew was wrong, but she needed to speak to Alex urgently, that instant in fact, knowing full well she'd gone out on a date.

Maggie scolded herself again for her selfish behaviour, manipulating Supergirl in order to find out where Alex might be. She was ashamed of how she'd behaved, and admitted as much to the girl of steel after Supergirl realised who she'd flown to and what was going on. In amongst her impassioned plea, Maggie explained to Supergirl why she felt the overwhelming need to get to Alex as quickly as possible. Supergirl wasn't impressed with her behaviour - far from it - but coming back from the verge of wanting to give Maggie an icy blast of breath as punishment, she'd allowed herself to listen to what the detective had to say. And it all came spilling out, every last unabashed piece of confession, every honest admission, every ounce of what she - and always had - felt for the DEO agent who she had clearly left heartbroken. It wasn't just Alex who was heartbroken. It wasn't just Alex who wished with every inch of her being that they could be together, a real couple, admitting their feelings for one another. It wasn't just Alex who wanted to be alone with the other, not just wanting to be with the other, but  _needing_ them. It was Maggie too. She needed Alex. She needed her more than she'd realised. When she saw Alex coming to terms with the realisation she was gay, Maggie was conflicted. More than anything she wanted to sweep her up and make Alex see what she felt, the same way she felt from their first encounter. But Maggie was also acutely aware that she herself had been broken several times in the past; relationships, friendships, family. She had a list of issues as long as anyone, and coupled with the knowledge that Alex may be looking to her to guide her through her first experiences of her new normal, she just didn't know if she had the strength to be that person. She wanted Alex to experience her new outlook for herself, not just for Maggie, and that scared her, more than she was willing to admit.

But when Alex had kissed her in the bar, it felt like a bolt thudding into her chest, searing through her skin and lodging deep into her heart. In that split second the knowledge of being adored by Alex and the feeling of her soft lips pressed lightly against her own, sent new signals to her brain, but in her shock she didn't identify them for what they were at the time. She'd done what she thought was right; to support Alex as a friend, to be there for her as Agent Danvers began to explore her new-found sexuality. And this felt like the right decision, despite the hurt she could clearly see she was causing. But when Alex said she was going on a date....

Maggie downed her second glass of vodka. She grabbed the bottle and headed to her couch, slumping down into the corner and kicking off her boots. She poured the freezing-cold liquor into her glass messily, filling it to the top so it spilled over the edge. Maggie traced her finger around the lip of the glass and licked her finger.

But worst of all, she regretted the way she'd made Alex feel tonight. She knew she'd hurt her before now by asking to just be friends, but at the time she truly believed that was the right thing to do. But this evening, she'd known exactly what she was doing. She headed to that restaurant to tell Agent Alex Danvers that she didn't want her to go on her first date; she didn't want Alex to date anyone at all, because after everything she'd said,  _she_ wanted to date her.  _She_ wanted to be the one Alex got dressed up for.  _She_ wanted to be the person Alex whispered down the phone about. Maggie knew it was selfish, but damn it, if she didn't do anything about it, it would have eaten her alive. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry...." Maggie whispered, increasingly realising how inconsiderate she'd been by interrupting Alex's date with Anna.

Maggie looked over at the smashed frame that lay face-down on the floor next to the door, sighing with sadness that that too had been a casualty of her recklessness. 

 _How many more things am I going to ruin?_ She thought, as she felt her eyes begin to sting with tears. The detective took a slow sip of the vodka, carefully holding onto the heavy tumbler which was over-full. Maggie ran her free hand down her thigh, smoothing her jeans, desperately trying to comfort herself as the ever-increasing reality of what she'd done became apparent.

Suddenly Maggie jolted upright, spilling cold vodka into her lap, as she was startled by an aggressive *thud* at the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who could it be? I love a cliffhanger, me.
> 
> Who's excited for the fast-approaching return of Sanvers to our TV screens though?!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex confronts Maggie after the awkward exchange outside the restaurant, desperate to know why she would burst in on her date with Anna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angry Sanvers! Here we go - good luck everyone

The loud thud at the door came again.

Maggie set her tumbler down on the kitchen counter and hurriedly padded over to the refrigerator, slipping her hand behind the bulky appliance and feeling around. She withdrew her arm and brought with it a Glock that had been safely stowed away, for unexpected encounters just like this.

Maggie slowly approached the door, clutching the pistol, and peered through the spyhole, holding her breath so that whomever was on the other side of the door wouldn't hear her.

Alex's muffled voice snarled back through the door.

"Sawyer, I can hear you breathing. Let me in."

Maggie bit her lip anxiously before pulling the door open, whereupon she saw Alex, standing with her arms folded angrily, her face struggling to keep her temper in check. Maggie held onto the door, it partially obscuring her, as she kept the brunette outside for the time being. She shook her head, confused.

"How did you....?"

"You're not the only one who can find out where somebody lives, you know." Alex retorted, raising a single eyebrow.

Maggie looked out of her apartment and down the corridor, before turning back to look at Alex, there still standing with her arms folded. Alex looked furious.

"Don't worry, she's not here with me," Alex said, her voice tinged with flippancy, "but _you_ saw to that, didn't you?"

Maggie rolled her eyes tiredly. "Danvers, if you've come here to - "

Alex stormed through the open doorway and into Maggie's living room, tossing her blazer onto the armchair on top of Maggie's jacket.

"I'll tell you why I'm here," she interrupted, "I want to know why you thought it was acceptable to gatecrash my evening." Alex stood facing away from the petite detective, afraid that if she turned and looked at her, she'd burst into tears. Of course Alex had felt anger before, plenty of times during the course of her life she'd been accustomed to the emotion, but this felt totally different. In fact, it didn't even feel like anger, it felt like something she'd never quite experienced before.

Maggie slammed the door shut, angry in response. The broken picture frame reverberated on the floor from the second lot of aggression on the doorframe. Maggie took three purposeful steps toward Alex, feeling buoyed by her innate propensity to stand up for herself, and also buoyed by the vodka, and jabbed a finger at her.

"Alex, fuck, don't come over here to my apartment, just to give me shit," she spat.

Alex wheeled around quickly. As Maggie was without her boots, Alex had to glance down a good few inches as their height difference was all too apparent in the confines of the small living room. 

"Me? Come to... come to... here? Me? Y-you?" She spluttered, incredulous that her counterpart was angry at  _her_ for invading  _her_ space.

Maggie couldn't help but smile as Alex stumbled over her words; not something which happened often, and accentuated how incensed she was.

"You're cute when you're angry," Maggie said, half under her breath.

Alex scowled at the detective's flippant tone, disbelieving she could be like that at a time like this. She looked across at the kitchen and saw the half-full tumbler. Knowing Maggie as she did, it was probably vodka.

"Mind if I have a drink?" Alex asked, though it wasn't really a question. She sidestepped Maggie and headed towards the kitchen, grabbing the glass and turning on her heel to face Maggie again. She drew the glass up to her lips and took a long, slow draw of vodka, not taking her eyes off Maggie for a moment.

Maggie watched Alex sink the liquor angrily, which was as sexy as hell.  _Fuck_ , Maggie thought to herself, as she felt between her thighs grow warm.

Alex slammed the empty tumbler back down onto the kitchen counter without looking down, her eyes fixated on the detective opposite her across the room. She took a few steps forward so that she and Maggie were only a couple of feet away from one another, neither breaking away from their gaze. Alex folded her arms once more.

"So," she said, "you never answered my question Maggie, what were you doing there?"

"At the restaurant?"

"Of course the restaurant," Alex spat, still incensed. As she narrowed her eyes at Maggie, she observed the detective seemed cagey.

Maggie was silent for a moment, deep in thought about her response, before replying.

"I needed to see you, Alex, I needed to speak with you."

Alex studied Maggie's words carefully, letting them sink in despite the blanket of rage and confusion that enveloped her. It was all so confusing. In a split second, Alex's mind raced through all the events of the last few weeks between them; Alex coming to terms with her sexuality, Maggie supporting her through it, Alex acting on impulse and kissing Maggie, Maggie asking to just be friends. And it had been so hard to accept that they would only be friends, harder than she'd thought. Alex's expression softened slightly as she looked back at the petite, dark-haired cop standing a few feet in front of her. How could she accept just staying friends with Maggie. She was tough. Smart. Beautiful. She was worth fighting for. Before she realised it, a smile began to form across her lips.

Maggie saw Alex's expression change from one of anger, to something more accommodating. Maggie too began to smile, reciprocating Alex's mood. But Alex was not ready to forgive quite so swiftly. Her focus kicked back in and she began to frown.

"You needed to speak to me, huh?" She began to pace the floor of the living room, "So tell me Sawyer, what was such a burning issue that you needed to interrupt me whilst I was on... whilst I was..."

"On a date. With Anna Preston." Maggie finished the sentence, her tone also switching back. Alex stopped pacing and turned to her.

"Yes. With Anna."

The words felt like they hung in the air forever. Both women glared at the other, willing the other to speak first. Alex raised her eyebrows, suggesting she wanted Maggie to reply.

"Anna Preston..." Maggie said wistfully, looking down at the floor and kicking her feet together; "...I know Anna. I've known her for a while."

Alex stayed silent as she wanted to hear what the detective had to say. Maggie continued.

"Anna and I, me and Anna, we.... we.... we used to date. More than that; we were together. For a little while. Back in Gotham City. We'd started seeing one another and it quickly turned into something serious in a short amount of time. Hey, Anna's hot, I'm not stupid."

Alex prickled at hearing Maggie describe another woman as 'hot'. But she let Maggie go on.

"And then she introduced me to her family. I went back to her family home one weekend, it was some kind of gathering. It was the first time she took me back to meet her folks, her brother and her sisters. She was so excited." Maggie looked up and smiled ruefully at the recollection. Alex remained silent.

"And her parents were cool, y'know, no problems with us, you know, like some folks can be," Maggie said knowingly, nodding, looking to Alex for empathy, but very quickly realising Alex hadn't yet experienced the scrutiny that same-sex relationships would often bring. Alex wished she could empathise but instead continued to just let Maggie recant the story.

"So we had a good time there, y'know? Me, Anna, her brother and sisters.... we were there Thursday through Sunday."

Alex watched as Maggie paused for a moment, as if a memory from the story had stung her. She headed slowly to the couch, before gently sitting on its arm, placing her hands on her knees.  _She looks so small and... and...._ Alex's mind wandered as Maggie looked up to the ceiling.

"We all went out on the Saturday night. We'd been there a couple of days already and me and Anna's sisters were getting on like a house on fire. In fact, one of Anna's sisters seemed to have taken a bit of a shine to me."

Alex's eyes narrowed.

"Yasmin. Her younger sister. She was pretty; I guess you could say she was cute. But she was young. She was a senior in high school. She was preppy but popular, sporty, athletic, just like Anna. In fact she was probably just a younger version of her...." Maggie's voice tailed off, her mind lost in thought.

Alex moved closer to Maggie, eager to hear her continue. Maggie cleared her throat and looked back at Alex.

"We went to this bar. Somewhere in town. Me, Anna, her two sisters. Her brother stayed at home - reckon we cramped his style. We got into this club and Yasmin was like, all over me. Ridiculously so. Anna had already told her in the cab to pace herself with drinks, but when we got there.... well Yasmin just sank shot, after shot, after shot. I bought her a couple at first, I thought I was being fun. But she was trying to keep up with me and Anna. And we can drink, you know..?"

"Oh, I know." Alex replied, softly.

"Anyway, she started being all handsy. At first it was sweet; hugs, cuddles, I thought she was just being cute with her elder sister's girlfriend. But Anna started to get mad. It wasn't the first time Yasmin had been like that, apparently. So they had an argument in the club and Yasmin ran off to the bathroom, crying or something. Anna was mad but she wasn't upset, and her other sister was talking into her ear. And I was worried about Yasmin, you know? Like, was she going to run off, out of the club or something? She'd had so much to drink, I didn't.... I didn't want to think what could happen to her if someone took advantage of her. She was a really sweet girl, but she was wasted. So I went after her."

Alex placed a hand on the kitchen counter next to the empty glass and continued to listen. Maggie looked so small at that moment. Small and vulnerable.

"When I caught up to her, she didn't go into the bathroom. She grabbed me by my collar and pulled me into a doorway, the emergency exit or something. She pulled me right in and kissed me. Kissed me full on the lips. I wasn't expecting it, I.... I didn't want it. I didn't want it at all. I was into Anna. I wasn't into Yasmin, I just wanted to be her older sister's cool girlfriend. But when Anna saw us...."

Maggie's head bowed and her hair fell around her face, obscuring it from Alex's view. Alex felt her heart pound in her chest.

Maggie jerked her head up once again and her long dark tresses flew wildly and dramatically. Her eyes were glistening as tears had begun to swell. She swallowed hard and carried on once more.

"She blamed me for it," she said, shaking her head, "she blamed me for everything. Getting Yasmin drunk. Leading her on. Initiating the kiss. Me! As if I wanted any of those things? I... I.... I didn't know what to think. I couldn't believe it. Yasmin was so young, and I was experienced.... I would  _never._ Never. I only wanted Anna. But Anna didn't let me explain. She was..... blinkered. I don't know why. She wouldn't let me give my side of the story. To her, I just got her little sister wasted and encouraged her to...to... I don't know. Whatever she thought, nothing I said would change her mind."

Maggie's voice cracked on her last word. A tear overflowed and ran down her cheek, and she quickly brushed it away, hoping Alex hadn't seen. But Alex had seen. Maggie tried to compose herself and took a long, deep breath, before running her hands through her hair, her eyes still welled.

"After that," she went on, her voice trembling, "Anna and I were over. She asked me to leave that night, and I got the Greyhound back to Gotham City. I tried to call her. I tried calling so many times. I left messages. Sometimes she'd pick up but put the phone down. I even sent her a goddamn letter...." Maggie smiled through her tears, "who writes letters anymore? I mean, shit......"

Maggie wiped away her tears which had now cascaded down her hot, flushed cheeks. Alex had never seen her like this before, nowhere even close. Alex was so attracted to Maggie when she was tough, when she was determined and unflappable. But seeing her like this.... seeing Maggie Sawyer broken down, she who so often was the hard one, the independent one, someone who relied on nobody; it was clear that sometimes even the strongest people are weak sometimes. She moved a step closer to the detective, still perched on the arm of the couch.

"So that was fucking  _that_ ," Maggie sniffed, "I never heard from her again. I saw her once or twice, when she was at work. I don't know if she saw me. If she did, she pretended she didn't. And once again, it all went to shit."

Alex folded her arms and looked down at her boots, pressing her lips together. She'd listened to Maggie pour her heart out, something she hadn't expected to experience anytime soon, if ever. Her eyes drifted over the detective's petite frame next to her. Her dark hair, tousled wildly but yet still looked sexy; her thin arms pricked with goosepimples as she'd been speaking; her ample curves resting on the edge of the couch, held in place by those jeans which so many times Alex had imagined tugging off her.

"Yeah, so, um.... that's me and Anna. Maggie and Anna. Maggie the disaster area. I didn't think I felt anything for her after all this time. But when I saw her earlier - "

"You felt, what?" Alex interjected quickly. "You felt what for her?"

"I felt.... hurt." Maggie replied steadfastly.

Alex's eyes darted quickly between Maggie's, as the detective looked up at her, her eyes still wet with tears. She could understand it. After what happened between them, to not get to explain herself, to not even get closure - Alex could well understand it. Her face began to soften as she was awash with sympathy at Maggie's explanation.  _She must have been hurting so much_ , Alex thought to herself. She went to reply but before she could, Maggie stood up from the couch and walked over to the other side of the living room, her hands slapping against her thighs with each step.

"Maggie - "

Maggie's hand flew up to stop Alex speaking dead in her tracks. Maggie turned to face her, her eyes tired, her mascara smudged adorably. She sniffed back a tear and flashed a broad smile, her arms outstretched at her sides, her palms facing outwards.

"So that's me, Danvers, that's the train wreck. I don't blame you for being angry at me. Jesus,  _I'm_ angry at me. I'm angry about all of this. All of this." Maggie's hands clenched into fists.

Alex's heart rate quickened. Hearing Maggie describe herself as a train wreck was not how she viewed her at all, and in actual fact, seeing Maggie talk honestly, opening herself up to Alex in this way, made Alex view her as quite the opposite. She needed to let the detective know she was being hard on herself.

"Maggie, you're not a trainwreck," she said softly, as Maggie shook her head in disagreement, "you are one of the most switched-on, normal, sensible people I know."

"Danvers, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but honestly, you don't have to try and make me feel better."

Alex stepped towards her slowly, placing one foot in front of the other purposefully, fixing her gaze on Maggie. Within seconds, they were separated by inches.

"I like it when you call me Danvers." Alex whispered.

Maggie drew her eyes slowly upwards to meet Alex's, her pupils dilated, still glistening in the warm glow of the lighting. Maggie tilted her head to the left.

"Danvers....?" She husked.

Alex couldn't look away from the deep, smokey eyes of the woman no more than inches away from her, feeling herself become light-headed as everything seemed to fall silent. Her tongue flicked across her lips as Maggie gazed back at her. Maggie couldn't stand it.

"Fuck it" she whispered quickly, before bouncing up on tip-toe to press her lips against Alex's, her hands following, clasping softly at the sides of Alex's face. 

Alex felt herself sink into the kiss for a second, before pulling away sharply.

"Maggie -" she said breathlessly, not sure what she wanted to say or why.

"Alex," Maggie quickly interrupted her, terrified of what would happen if Alex kept talking before Maggie could get the words out, "don't say anything.  _Please_ don't say anything, and let me say something?"

The DEO agent's breath was quick and she felt her pulse race with every split second that went past. She was still upset at Maggie, saying one thing one week, another the next. It was all so confusing and it felt like her head was spinning. But she wanted to hear what Maggie had to say. Maggie could see Alex was giving her the briefest of opportunities to explain herself.

"Okay. Okay. Jesus, now we're here I'm not entirely sure what I want to say... I'm sorry I kissed you. Actually, you know what? I'm  _not_ sorry I kissed you. Damn it Alex, I've been wanting to kiss you the moment I met you. Not just kiss you. I've wanted to... to... Jesus Alex, I've wanted to kiss you, hold you, do all kinds of things to you..."

Alex sniggered as Maggie continued, her voice shaking as she tried so hard to get the words out.

"...but mainly, I've just wanted to be with you.  _You,_ Alex,  _you._ I was so stupid before.... I didn't... I mean I didn't think...." Maggie paused and tried to compose herself. "When you came out, I  _thought_ I was doing the right thing by saying we should be friends. I wanted you to be supported. I wanted you to be happy. But when I saw how unhappy you were, it killed me. I mean, it literally killed me...."

Alex's eyes danced over Maggie's face and hair, before closing as she caught the last trace of her perfume.

"....so then I was unhappy. So I figured, you're unhappy,  _I'm_ unhappy, what was the goddamn point of all of this? For both of us to be unhappy? Is this what life has become? Doing something because you think it's the right thing to do, but in fact, it's the freaking opposite?"

Alex drew closer to Maggie.

"Then when you said you were going on a date.... holy cow Alex, that just pushed me over the edge. I had to see you. I needed to hear your voice. I needed to tell you..."

The elder Danvers sister moved impossibly closer. "Tell me, what...exactly?" She whispered.

The two women were within a hair's breadth of each other, as if they were being pulled together like magnets.

"I want you. I've always wanted you. I - I... I  _need_ you, Alex, fuck, I've... I've always needed you. It was always you, Alex, it was always you."

Alex gazed deeply into Maggie's inviting eyes, now sparkling bright with adrenaline and anticipation; their heartbeats thumping noisily within their chests, the only noise they could hear in the silence. She lowered her head, and their lips were virtually touching.  

"Danvers." She husked, her eyes fixed on Maggie's lips. And with every fibre of their being, their lips met in an impassioned embrace, unyielding, their hands tracing through each others' hair; and they daren't stop in case the ecstasy would end.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowzers, what a rollercoaster. I think I've got one more chapter in me..... can anyone guess what might happen in the next one? Answers on a postcard! (or just leave me a comment with your feedback from this chapter. How did you like jealous, angry Sanvers?)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our law-enforcing heroines finally each get the girl as both cannot find a reason to say no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we approach the return of Supergirl and ultimately Sanvers to our screens, I basically thought, fuck it, let's get the good stuff down. Enjoy.

The two women continued to be locked in their embrace, neither wishing to pull away and break it off, neither wanting it to ever end. But as a natural pause for breath presented itself, Alex and Maggie's lips parted and they were apart for a moment.

Maggie broke into a broad smile, her dimples flexing with the type of innate happiness she'd been missing for too long. Alex took a long, slow breath; her eyes remaining closed, before running her tongue gently across her lips, to taste where Maggie had just been. She too began to smile sweetly as she opened her eyes to take in the woman she'd kissed standing opposite.

"Danvers," Maggie said breathlessly, "that was......" Her voice trailed as she struggled to find the words. But she didn't need any.

"Uh-huh," Alex agreed in a soft, low voice, brushing the dark, errant hair from Maggie's face delicately. Maggie blushed slightly.

"You getting soft on me?" Alex continued, her tone a little sarcastic, seeing Maggie's cheek turn a shade of pink, flushed with excitement.

"Ha ha." The detective replied, knowing Alex was mocking her own statement from a few weeks ago. Little did either know how much they were getting soft on one another. She held out her hands in between them, low down by her belt, and Alex placed hers gently against them, lightly squeezing Maggie's fingers. Maggie looked down at their hands intertwined and gave a gentle shake of her head. Alex ducked her head so she could capture Maggie's gaze and make eye contact with her.

"I know. I can't believe it either. I've wanted this for so long."

Maggie looked up at the beautiful woman who was holding her hands. Maggie's pulse was racing, her cheeks were flushed, and she was struggling to catch her breath. She let the words sink in for a moment before she eventually responded.

"I.....I've never wanted....I mean I...... I just wanted you so bad." She said, her words increasing in intensity.

Alex's smile faded as the intensity transferred onto her. She unwound a hand from Maggie's and placed it at the base of Maggie's neck, pulling the diminutive detective toward her urgently so that their soft lips pressed against each others with that intensity. As Alex's hand slid up Maggie's neck and into her hair, her other dropping down to rest at the base of Maggie's spine by her belt, Maggie felt a heat growing between her legs. As their kiss deepened, Maggie's hands instinctively moved to Alex's waist, pulling her even closer so that their bodies pressed together. She knew this had been well received when Alex let out a low moan of appreciation, as she too felt the sensation between her thighs grow stronger and stronger.  _Jesus fucking Christ, if this is what it feels like just from kissing...._ Alex thought, as Maggie tugged on her belt loop. Unconsciously, Alex's hand drifted to the back of Maggie's jeans and softly tugged to pull her top upwards and out of her denims.

Maggie took a half step backward, still holding onto Alex's arm.

"Whoa there Danvers," she said with a slight nervous laugh, "you start doing things like that and I'm not gonna be able to stop myself."

Alex followed her half step toward her. "Why would I want you to stop?" She replied, her tone effortlessly seductive. Maggie felt herself go weak just at the expression.

"Because uh, um.... I don't think we should rush things.  _Believe me_ , it's not that I want you to stop - "

The detective's sentence was cut short by Alex pulling her in for another kiss. Generally Maggie Sawyer hated being interrupted, but on this occasion, she'd make an exception. Alex was an excellent kisser, and waiting and hoping for this moment had made things even sweeter than she'd imagined. Maggie let out a soft moan. Alex drew back from their kiss and pressed a light, soft, spine-tingling kiss on Maggie's cheek, before pressing her lips against her ear to whisper.

"You were saying, Detective?" Alex's whisper was like honey.

Maggie bit her lip, the physical result of her overwhelming, yet highly frustrating, sense to do the right thing. She turned to look at the DEO agent.

"Alex, speaking honestly, I've dreamed of nothing else but this moment; you and me, together, you and me, doing.... things....." Alex smiled as Maggie continued, "...and as much as I want to just get in that bedroom as quickly as possible -" she took a deep breath, " - the  _sensible_ thing to do here is to not rush things."

The ache between her legs was almost becoming too much to bear, but as Alex listened to Maggie fight her desire to consummate their relationship in favour of preserving some sanctity in the earliest days of their relationship, her heart raced a little more. Maggie wanted this to work. She didn't want to just fuck. She wanted them to be together, and as much as it must have taken all her willpower, the detective knew this was Alex's first time with a woman, and she wanted it to be done right. Alex looked back into the deep brown ocean of Maggie's eyes, her exquisite eyes, and her own began to soften and narrow with a knowing smile.

"Okay Sawyer, you're right." She said with resignation, pulling Maggie back towards her by her belt. As she drew her close, Alex wrapped Maggie into a warm embrace. They stayed like that for several moments, both enjoying the close proximity and safety from each other as they were wrapped up together. Maggie closed her eyes as she buried her head into the nook of Alex's neck and collarbone.

"You're damn right I'm right."

Alex smiled and rolled her eyes, only daring to do this as she knew the other woman's were closed. She drew in a breath and the last remnants of Maggie's scent drifted into her consciousness.  _God she smells good,_ Alex thought.

"But it's late," Maggie said, looking up at Alex, her eyes suddenly tired, "so why don't you stay over - nothing sinister - and we can get breakfast tomorrow?"

Alex looked at the black watch on her wrist and then back at Maggie, her face tinged with uncertainty. Alex wanted to stay, but she also wanted to run home and tell Kara about everything that had happened in fine detail. But it  _was_ late, and she wasn't sure she'd have the energy to regale her sister with  _everything_ tonight.

"Or..... don't feel you have to, I mean, I'd like you to, but if you don't want to, don't feel compelled...." Maggie stuttered, unsure what Alex was thinking.

"I want to," Alex replied quickly, "believe me, I want to."

"I believe you," Maggie husked, stepping upwards to peck her on the lips.

"Where'd you want me?" Alex said, with a raised eyebrow, knowing that her statement was highly suggestive. Maggie played along, her hand pointing as she spoke:

"The bedroom, the living room, anywhere, everywhere....!"

Alex walked over to the couch and sat down, taking her boots off. It was a welcome relief as she removed her heeled boots, she'd had them on for several hours for her date, and now they were beginning to get a bit uncomfortable. She let out an audible sigh of relief as she let the soles of her feet flatten out on Maggie's carpet below. Maggie looked quizzically at Alex on the couch.

"You're sleeping there?"

Alex nodded innocently. Where else would she sleep?

"Oh no, no, this is all....this is all very wrong. Come with me." Maggie outstretched her arm and pulled Alex up off the couch by her hand, leading her over to the doorway of the bedroom. Still holding onto Maggie's hand, Alex stopped before they went in, a surprised look appearing across her face.

"Um, Maggie, I thought you said - "

"Relax, I'm not going to try anything," Maggie assured her, "though I  _really, really_ would like to." She burst into laughter. "I've got some PJs you can change into and we're just  _sleeping_ in here, Danvers, we're not doing anything else."

 _More's the pity_ , Alex said, under her breath. And with that, Maggie flicked on the light to the bedroom and led the short-haired woman in behind her, softly clicking the door closed once they were both inside.

 

.............................................................................................................................................................................

 

The piercing sound of an iPhone alarm rang out in the yellow glow of the bedroom. Shards of light had begun to stream in through the blinds, and as Maggie tiredly fumbled her hand across her nightstand to turn it off, the woman next to her began to stir.

Maggie had given Alex a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in several hours earlier, as both retired to bed. And they kept to their word; nothing further had occurred between them since their steamy kisses in the living room after their confrontation. Not that they didn't want anything further to occur; both had laid awake silently in the darkness, desperately hoping the other would reach out and touch the other, a little sign, an invite for the other to initiate something,  _anything_ , that would quell the ache both felt beneath their underwear. They'd kissed a final time before turning the light out, though it wasn't as sensual as their previous kisses, because neither could be sure if it was anything deeper that they wouldn't be ripping each others' clothes off right there and then, as if they couldn't trust their own desires.

Alex's hair looked a little more wild than usual as it splayed out over the pillow next to Maggie, her body rising and falling with deep, sleepy breaths. Maggie turned off her alarm and dragged the covers back over herself, determined to keep warm, and open to falling asleep again should the feeling sweep over her. No sooner had her eyes closed tiredly, Maggie's eyes flicked open again quickly as she felt Alex's warm breath on her face.

"Good morning, Detective Sawyer." Alex said playfully, her voice cracking slightly thanks to the early hour. She'd propped herself up sideways next to Maggie, facing her, and her elbow dug into the pillow, her hand supporting her head. Alex leant down and kissed Maggie gently on the lips.

"Mmmmm," was all Maggie could muster. They looked at one another for a moment, hardly daring to believe what had taken place was real.

"So, last night," Alex began, clearing her throat, "that wasn't a dream, was it?"

Maggie smiled. "No, Agent Danvers, that was  _definitely not_ a dream. I can say that with certainty," Maggie pinched the skin on Alex's free arm, causing her to flinch.

"Ow! Hey! What did you do that for?" Alex yelped, falling onto her back and rubbing her forearm gingerly.

Maggie rolled on top of Alex, their breasts pressed together. "Just wanted to be sure" she husked, dropping her head so she could kiss the woman underneath her slowly, seductively, wantonly. Alex responded as their tongues touched.

Maggie's head was racing. She'd genuinely asked Alex to stay over because it was late and she knew they were both tired. And she'd also suggested they not go beyond kissing because it was  _way_ too soon to be heading straight to sex. But it wasn't because she didn't want it, and she was fairly certain Alex felt the same, as her kiss was reciprocated enthusiastically.

As their kiss intensified, Maggie grabbed Alex by the wrists and dragged them up above her head and above the pillows. The unnervingly-strong detective pinned Alex's arms by the wrists as she lay on top of her, the woman below her now totally vulnerable.

"If this is us not rushing things..." Alex whispered breathlessly.

Maggie knew she was going back slightly on what she'd said last night. But seeing Alex waking up in bed next to her, seeing her in her own clothes, Maggie's heart was overruling her head. She released Alex's wrists gently and rolled off her, back over to her own side of the bed, sighing loudly.

Alex remained with her hands above her head, her eyes still looking at the ceiling.

"Did I ask you to stop?" Alex said firmly.

"No you didn't," Maggie replied, "but I shouldn't be doing that.... Jesus Alex, I don't want to do the wrong thing." 

The eldest Danvers sister rolled onto her side once more, so she could look Maggie in the eye. She could tell Maggie still felt incredibly guilty for pushing Alex back into the friendzone after she came out, thinking that would be the best thing for Alex's new found sexuality. Hearing everything she had to say last night, Alex better understood what the detective had been thinking and feeling, despite the tiny pangs of heartache that still remained in Alex's mind. She knew Maggie had been trying to be sensible and rational about them not being together, but them being apart caused more pain than either could have conceived, but now they were together, reconciled, Alex didn't want her counterpart to go on assuming responsibility for what had happened in the past.

"Maggie," Alex said in a firm yet soft voice, "you're not doing anything wrong. And you need to stop thinking so goddamn much. God knows, I have over-thought things enough for the both of us."

Maggie wiped some sleep from her tired eyes and nodded thoughtfully, trying hard to accept what Alex was saying but still feeling a sense of guilt in the pit of her stomach.

"Maggie." Alex repeated.

The detective turned to face her, the firmness of Alex's tone indicating she was keen for Maggie to believe her. As Maggie sat up in bed, her dark tresses falling down around her shoulders and collarbone recklessly, Alex's stomach flipped as their eyes met. _No-one looks this good first thing in the morning, surely..._ Alex said to herself, her eyes casting the petite yet athletic figure propped up next to her under the covers. A few moments had passed since they both realised the air had turned silent and they were both just gazing back at one another, wordless, but both minds and hearts racing at seeing the other in the intimate setting.

Suddenly Alex's cellphone began to ring, calling out from her jacket pocket in the living room. Alex rolled her eyes and leapt out of bed, gently padding out of the bedroom and into the living room to grab the phone. Maggie watched her ample assets as she sashayed out through the door, before diving back under the covers with an excitable squeal. _She's mine_ , Maggie thought as she couldn't believe her luck. Maggie's imagination began to race pre-emptively, her mind starting to fast-forward to scenarios which she'd never allowed herself to daydream of before. Maggie was an experienced lover, but she'd never felt a sense of apprehension and palpable excitement like this before, a wave of mixed feelings crashing around her head as daydreamed about how and when she would finally get to see Alex Danvers naked. They'd poured their hearts out to one another, and overcome all the stupid barriers that had held them apart before now, but now all Maggie could think about was how to appease the tangible ache that consumed her body whenever she looked at Alex.

"Too soon Sawyer, too soon, don't blow this thing," she said to herself quietly, unaware Alex had poked her head back through a crack in the bedroom door. She wasn't sure if Alex had heard or not.

"Maggie, uh..." Alex looked borderline dejected, "something's come up and I have to go. I really, _really_ don't want to go, and I really, _really_ would rather stay here with you..."

Maggie held her hand up decidedly as she was partially obscured by the bed covers. "Danvers - don't apologise. Go. Just be safe. And come back to me soon."

 

Several minutes later, Alex had quickly changed into yesterday's clothes, gave her short hair a quick fix, and brushed her teeth using a spare toothbrush Maggie had kept under the sink. She'd left Maggie warm under the covers; clearly the detective was disappointed Alex had to leave so soon, but based on both of their propensities to throw caution to the wind and allow their bodies to rule their minds, she'd thought maybe it was a good thing she didn't stay any longer. Alex's body ached for physical contact too, and she could also do something much more dangerous if she stayed, like telling Maggie the true depth of her feelings for her.

"Call me later," Maggie said, trying to catch her breath as Alex broke away from their deep, lingering kiss.

"I will," Alex replied with a smile, "but in any case, you're coming to mine later tonight, right?"

Maggie's heart skipped a beat as Alex didn't even bother to enquire as to whether that was up for debate. She wanted Maggie to go to her place and that was that. Maggie was never going to say no, but Alex's confidence was so appealing, just one of the things that Maggie found attractive in her, and as Alex's words were uttered so decidedly, it was such a turn-on.

"Wouldn't miss it." Maggie winked back, as Alex headed out through the bedroom door, her free hand covering her heart over the top of her jacket.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It almost feels like there is one more chapter in this.....! Maybe I am just too desperate for domestic Sanvers / full-on let's get it on Sanvers. What do you think, anyone up for one more.....?


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sawyer + Danvers = #Sanvers

J'onn had watched on with intrigue as Special Agent Danvers had all but floated around the DEO all day long. He remarked to himself that he'd never seen Danvers act like this before now, but whatever it was that had brought this lightness of being to her, it suited her. Alex had barely even heard him when he asked what had got her so giddy, but Alex had collected herself before responding, remembering she should keep her steely countenance when on the job. But in truth Alex had wanted to tell J'onn exactly what had got her head spinning, because it was quite astonishingly simple. The woman who had unlocked her heart. The woman who had enabled Alex to finally feel whole again. It was her.

Detective Maggie Sawyer had also appeared to be somewhat distracted during the day; Maggie wasn't one who allowed herself to be giddy, but she couldn't fight off the feeling of butterflies in her stomach whenever she thought back to last night; Alex holding her, kissing her, sleeping alongside her in her own bed. Maggie had longed to draw Alex near to her under the covers, her body aching with want, observing the beautiful curvature of Alex's spine laid out next to her. It didn't feel like Alex had left her for work, as her unmistakable scent lingered on the bedclothes. The detective couldn't quite believe what was going on, that somebody like Alex Danvers was just as into her, as she was into Alex.

Everything about Alex was sexy. It wasn't just the way she looked, although many times Maggie had sworn under her breath when taking in Alex's tall, athletic figure, clothes clinging in all the right places and always looking effortless beautiful. Maggie had replayed the night they'd crashed the alien fight club in her mind on several occasions, because that was the night that Alex absolutely took her breath away; her blue dress accentuating her curves, her hair and make up perfect, sending Maggie's pulse spiralling out of control. Maggie had secretly hoped and wished that Alex might be into girls - more specifically her - but she wasn't totally sure she was when they went hand in hand into the club. Maggie had smiled at the recollection of last night's seemingly endless kisses, and thinking that she was pretty sure Alex now definitely was into girls. And more specifically, she was most definitely into Maggie.

Maggie couldn't wait to see the DEO agent later that evening, and as she looked at her watch for the 100th time that day, an urgent call came in over the radio.

 

...

 

A tinny beep chirped from the black watch on Alex's wrist, letting her know it was time to call it at a day at the DEO and head home, so she could tidy her apartment and get ready for her guest. Alex tried to conceal and excited smile as she hurriedly clicked the watch's alarm off, her colleagues next to her remarking they couldn't remember a time before when Alex was out of the door so punctually, such was her commitment to her job. As she grabbed her thin black jacket from the back of her chair, she felt her cellphone buzz in her back pocket. Alex slipped her cellphone from her pocket and unlocked it quickly, to see a message had been received.

Maggie.

_Something came up at work, and am across town. Should be done soon, will let you know if running late. M_

Alex felt her hands turn cold and clammy in an instant. She had been so looking forward to picking up where they'd left off yesterday, craving being in close proximity to one another, and she couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment when she finished reading the text. Maggie clearly knew she'd be running late. She looked up and around to see if anyone had seen her visible frustration, but before anyone might have had a chance, she locked her phone and hurried out of the door, heading home immediately.

Once she'd reached her apartment, Alex hurried around the place, fervently tidying and cleaning the already spotless living areas. She fluffed the cushions on the couch several times before reminding herself to calm down. Kara had texted somewhere in between, asking how her sister was and if she wanted to do something tonight, and Alex was more than thrilled to write back in the negative, that she couldn't because she already had plans. She knew Kara would be beaming with happiness knowing her elder sister had opened her heart to someone and it had been reciprocated, and so there was no way in hell she would try and derail the plans for the evening. Kara told Alex to have a great evening - and to tell her everything tomorrow.

Finally Alex was satisfied her already-flawless apartment was cleaned and tidied to the highest standard, she jumped in the shower quickly and began to get ready. Her face flushed with excitement as she applied her make up, the telltale sign of excitement, no matter if it were conscious or subconscious. Alex allowed her hair to dry naturally, and used her hair straighteners very deliberately to give her short hair the cute waves she'd begun to have over the last few weeks. As she switched the hot straighteners off and let them sit on the surface of her small dressing table, her eyes were quickly drawn to the flashing light of her cellphone and the accompanying customary vibrating buzz. Another message from Maggie.

_Danvers, I'm still across town. Hope to be with you by 9, is that OK? M_

Alex's heart sank and her brow couldn't help but furrow with deep disappointment. She placed her cellphone back down on the table slowly, the message still staring back up at her. Her eyes flicked to a clock on Alex's bedside table: 7.00pm. Alex paused for a moment, to think how best to respond. She wanted to tell Maggie that no, 9.00 wasn't going to be OK, because she wanted to be in her apartment as soon as humanly possible, for as long as possible, and she couldn't wait another second to be with her. But she also knew that if Maggie was tied up then she wasn't the type of person to shirk her responsibilities, and just as Alex was the embodiment of her work, Maggie was too. Which was one of the qualities that Alex found so attractive in the diminuitive detective; her passion and resilience working for the NCPD science division; how tough she was; how smart she was; how she saw so much of herself in Maggie and loved being around someone so determined and like-minded.

 _OK, just get here when you can_ , Alex typed out slowly, _just be safe. A_

Alex sent her reply, and waited a moment to see if another would follow, but it didn't. Maggie had obviously been caught up at work, and texting her love interest wouldn't have been high on the list of priorities if she was in a risky situation. Alex knew that all too well, but it didn't stop her from wishing the next couple of hours would just hurry up so that 9.00pm didn't seem so long away. She finished off her beauty regime with a quick spritz of perfume, one Kara had first got for her for Christmas a year or two ago, and headed into the kitchen. Alex reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a cold bottle of wine and drew a large glass from one of the cupboards on the kitchen wall, before grabbing a corkscrew from the drawer. As she turned the screw into the cork, she watched the hands on the living room wall clock move at a glacial pace. _Come on nine o'clock,_ Alex whispered to herself.

 

Two and a half glasses later, Alex quickly turned the music down on the sound system as her cellphone rang loudly, buzzing its way across the table in front of her. She threw the remote control onto the table and answered the call.

"Sawyer."

"Danvers," Maggie's voice was loud on the other end of the call, but it had to be as various sirens and background noise nearly drowned it out. Alex pressed the phone closer to her ear.

"Everything OK? Are you on your way?"

Maggie's tone was apologetic. "We're not done here, and I don't know how long it's gonna take. Alex, I'm really sorry, I don't think I'll be there anytime soon. I'm so sorry."

Alex stayed silent a moment, cursing the nature of their jobs, making living a normal life and having plans nigh-on impossible. She cleared her throat to respond.

"It's only 8.45 Maggie, I'm not going anywhere, but I guess you've got to finish up there.... I know you can't help it."

The sirens faded and Maggie's voice lowered in tandem, as she clearly pushed the receiver closer to her lips at the other end of the line.

"I want to be with you Alex, please believe me."

Alex wasn't mad at Maggie, she was mad at the situation. It was typical that this would happen to them, and she couldn't help but conceal her disappointment. But she knew Maggie was a good cop - a great cop - and whatever it was keeping her away from Alex that evening meant she was being her usual diligent self. Alex sighed.

"Maybe we can do something tomorrow?" She said, trying to sound hopeful.

"Uh, no can do tomorrow," Maggie replied, sounding even more apologetic, "and not the next day. Shit Alex, I'm sorry...."

Alex looked at the floor, her face flushed red with overwhelming emotion. She wanted to throw her cellphone at the wall. With her free hand she picked up her half glass of wine and sunk most of it before responding.

"I get it, it's the job. Believe me, I know. Look, Maggie.... just be safe, OK? Come back to me in one piece. We'll make arrangements for another day. I don't know when, but.... hopefully soon."

Maggie paused at the other end of the line. She could hear the deep disappointment in Alex's voice. They said their goodbyes and the call ended, and as the screen on Alex's cellphone faded she slammed it back onto the surface of the coffee table. She felt her cheeks burn hot, and she cursed for allowing herself to look forward to this so much. She should have known it was a mistake.

Alex downed the remainder of the wine and grabbed the near-empty wine bottle from the kitchen counter, bringing it back to the couch and pouring it out in its entirety into her glass. She recklessly slid the bottle back across the coffee table so it wobbled dangerously, nearly falling over, before she took another glug of cold Pinot Grigio. Realising she'd muted the music in the background, she stabbed the volume button on the sound system's remote so that it cranked up to a level that Alex rarely used. Music blared from the speakers at opposite ends of the living room and Alex slumped into the cushions of the couch, staring angrily at the wall with the glass in hand.

She should have been used to the feeling of disappointment; so often looking out for everyone else but herself, and when she did open herself to attempt to receive happiness, more often than not something bad would happen. She'd be let down by someone or something; people or situations not living up to the high standards she'd set for herself. It wasn't that she had high expectations of happiness for her personal life, she just wasn't used to experiencing things that some folk just took for granted. But that's what came with being exceptional, and despite her protestations, that's what Alex was.

And it was the situation that Alex had got mad about. She wasn't mad at Maggie, she was mad about how work got in the way of everything. She'd just waited so long for this moment, to be with someone she deeply cared for, and it was only natural to be sad at that being put on ice.

Alex turned the volume up another couple of notches for good measure. She used to do this in college, usually when one of the sports teams she played in lost a match. She hated being on the losing side, and often she would drown out the world with her music, and allow herself to wallow in misery until her innate sheer determination pulled her out of her funk.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock at the door. Alex looked over at the door, and looked back at the wall. She hadn't met the people in the neighbouring apartment, but she sure as hell wasn't about to make introductions now. If they had a problem with her music being loud, they'd just have to get over it. As she sunk a large mouthful of wine, the knock at the door came again, this time louder. Alex inhaled sharply through her nose and placed her wine glass onto the coffee table. _Goddamn it!_ She said to herself angrily, and her stride was purposeful as she stomped to the door, grabbing at the door handle and yanking it open. The words came out of her mouth before she'd even got the door open.

"Look, if you - "

Alex's irritated greeting was cut short when she realised it wasn't one of her neighbours stood in the doorway. It was Maggie Sawyer.

Maggie had prepared something cute to say to Alex when she'd got there, but as the door to the apartment was thrown open, and the music at a million decibels blared out at her, she was rather taken aback, completely losing her train of thought.

"Jesus Christ Danvers, what the hell is going on?" She said without thinking.

Alex stood silently at the door for a second, trying to understand what was going on. She realised the the music was pumping out at a ridiculously high level and quickly darted back into the living room and turned the volume knob down quickly at the sound system, before scurrying back to the woman who was still stood the other side of the doorway.

Alex held onto the door nervously, unsure of what was happening. She looked back at the clock on the living room wall: 8.55pm. She shook her head in disbelief as Maggie was smiling back at her.

"But.... but you said....?" Alex said, confused.

"I lied." Maggie replied immediately, slipping past her and into the living room. Maggie turned towards one of the armchairs and threw her bag into it. As she turned back to face Alex, the elder Danvers sister was already there, and she drew Maggie towards her quickly, placing her hands on the detective's face, pulling her in breathlessly so their lips met. Maggie was surprised for a moment but found herself sinking into the kiss, tasting the wine on Alex's lips as the two women eventually slowly parted from one another.

"Wow," Maggie breathed.

Alex smiled back at her warmly, before looking like she'd suddenly remembered something and punched Maggie sharply at the top of her arm. It was meant to be playful, but the DEO agent was military-trained, and the punch was slightly more strong than she meant it to be.

"Hey!" Maggie yelped, clutching her arm but smiling through the pain. "What the hell was that for?"

Alex's eyes narrowed and she drew in close to the woman opposite, still half grimacing at the blow to her arm. "You said you weren't going to make it. You weren't going to be here. You made me think you weren't coming which was..... mean."

Maggie rubbed her arm one more time before gathering Alex's hands in her own, down in front of them.

"I'm sorry Danvers, I didn't realise you'd get so aggressive..." she replied playfully.

Alex squeezed her hand tightly, her eyes darting quickly between Maggie's. Despite Maggie being there later than she intended, as Alex's eyes drifted across Maggie's features, it was clear Maggie had taken the time to apply her make up in preparation for their evening together. The detective's complexion was always flawless, with or without dimples, and this evening she'd applied some smoky grey eyeshadow that made her eyes even more mysterious and inviting than usual. Alex felt her stomach flip with excitement as she knew the person opposite was feeling everything she was feeling, and they were there together, just the two of them, in that moment.

Maggie let her hands fall away from Alex's as she slipped her black leather jacket from her shoulders, turning only slightly to toss it onto the armchair with her bag, making sure not to break eye contact with Alex at any point. Alex's heart began to race. Maggie's eyes flicked up and down as she poured over the woman in front of her, a wave of adrenaline pulsing through her, the want in her having become too overwhelming.

Maggie pulled Alex towards her by her belt roughly, leaving the DEO agent in no doubt as to what her intentions were. They kissed suddenly and urgently, their hands running up and down each other; arms wrapped around waists; fingers running through hair; hands tugging at clothes. The kissing intensified. Maggie turned Alex and lead her backwards quickly towards the couch, being careful their embrace wasn't broken, guiding Alex backwards. Alex was more than happy for Maggie to take the lead.

As they reached the couch, the detective pushed Alex back down onto the cushions urgently, and as Alex fell into the couch submissively, Maggie straddled her, her knees either side of Alex's thighs. Alex felt herself grow hot underneath her jeans, and seeing Maggie climb on top of her quickly, her eyes full of desire, she had never been so turned on. Maggie aggressively pushed Alex back against the couch by her shoulders and followed up by leaning into her, their lips pressing against one another passionately, their tongues meeting on a voyage of discovery. Maggie let out a soft moan as Alex's hands gripped the top of her thighs.

"Sorry for making you get mad Danvers," Maggie said breathlessly, placing kisses onto Alex's neck.

Alex tugged at Maggie's belt. "I'm so mad right now," she replied seductively, her hands slipping beneath the top of Maggie's black jeans. Maggie's back arched and she pulled Alex towards her, her hands gently placed at the base of Alex's neck.

Alex leaned forward, the petite detective still sat atop her lap, and grabbed Maggie by the waist. In a swift movement, she pulled Maggie from on top of her, and twisted sideways so that Maggie was now the one lying down the couch. Alex's strength drove Maggie wild, and Alex watched as Maggie's chest rose and fell quickly, barely able to catch her breath.

Alex has turned the tables. She settled down on top of Maggie, her legs now straddling Maggie's thighs, and she gently nuzzled at the detective's neck.

"I like it when you're mad," Maggie's voice cracked with excitement as Alex softly kissed her jawline. The ache between her thighs was almost unbearable.

"You'll have to make it up to me," Alex whispered in reply, her lips grazing Maggie's collarbone, causing Maggie to shiver. She didn't need any encouragement, but hearing Alex invite her in that way gave Maggie the confidence that she was comfortable with what was unfolding. Any inhibitions either woman had, had fast disappeared as they writhed together on the couch.

Alex growled as Maggie grabbed a handful of her behind, and she tugged at the detective's lip with her teeth in response. Beneath her plaid shirt, her heart thumped against her chest.

"Danvers," she whispered, unable to catch her breath.

"Sawyer," Alex replied, her own heartbeat racing.

In between kisses, Maggie continued. "I don't care what time I'd finished work, I would have been here. I needed to see you." She stared into Alex's dark eyes. "I had to see you."

Alex smiled affectionately and her heart swelled, hearing the words she'd longed to hear for as long as she could remember. She brushed some stray hairs from Maggie's face.

"I'm so glad you're here." She husked back.

"I know baby," Maggie replied, feeling the hot centre of Alex's jeans pressed against her own. Alex felt her cheeks turn pink; first at the realisation that her underwear was wet through and she was grinding up against the woman beneath her, and secondly because hearing Maggie call her _baby_ was fucking hot. Maggie smiled broadly at seeing Alex flush, her face dimpled.

Alex bit her lip as she stared back at Maggie. Last night they'd stopped short of further physical contact because Maggie didn't want to rush things. And it was that sweet, caring and considerate side that Maggie kept locked out of sight from everyone else that was one of the many things that Alex found so attractive in her. But at that moment, as the insanely sexy woman lay beneath her, completely vulnerable, her heart pounding in her chest, Alex knew that tonight, she didn't care if they were rushing or not. She wanted Maggie badly, and the hope burned inside her that her lover wasn't going down the sensible path once more. Before Alex had a chance to speak, Maggie sat back up from the couch and got to her feet, her hair dishevelled and her plaid shirt creased and half-untucked from her jeans. She stood in front of Alex, who was still on the couch, and offered an outstretched hand. Their eyes met and Alex knew in that instant that Maggie was not going to tell them to slow down tonight.

As she got to her feet, Alex gently placed her hand in Maggie's, and the elder Danvers sister was lead by Maggie across the living room, until she stopped and turned to her, a quizzical expression having formed on the detective's face.

"Y'know, I was going to take you to the bedroom, but.... I don't know where it is!" She said, half-embarrassed.

Alex continued to hold onto Maggie's hand but spun her around so that she was leading, and Maggie was the one being led. She pulled the detective towards her and began to walk; their small steps purposeful, not wishing to break contact even for a moment. As Alex pushed on the door from the living room, she turned and softly kissed Maggie on the lips, before whispering quietly against her ear.

"I'll show you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this one. To be honest, the actual Supergirl writers are giving us everything and FanFiction pales in comparison for the Sanvers relationship, which is so unusual! Anyway, if you liked this chapter please do leave a comment or feedback, hearing from people who read these stories helps motivate people like me!


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